The Temp
by Kryzanna
Summary: When Sasuke becomes the new supervisor of the Konoha University magazine's crazy writing crew and their perverted DJ friends, he instantly clashes with them. Naruto hates his guts, and Neji hates that he hired Shikamaru; of all people! Hilarity ensues. Contains Yaoi and eventually lemons. SasuNaru, ShikaNeji, HidaDei
1. Chapter 1

**Hi there all. Here's my newest Fanfic for you; just something a bit lighthearted and easy; nothing too heavy in here! Thanks to all those that have reviewed; it's always a pleasure to hear from you. **

**First chapter's just a bit of an introduction, but the pairs are coming up, I promise!**

**Make sure to review if you want to see more; I need some motivation to finish this!**

**Warning: Contains Yaoi and eventual lemons**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

* * *

"Good fucking afternoon to you all!" Came the gravelly voice blasting out through the speakers all over campus.

"_Hidan_! We're not *bleep* meant to go on air before Sasori's ready with the *bleep* swear button, yeah!" came a different voice; aggressive.

"Well I don't *bleep* care, Deidara!" the gravelly voice retorted hotly, "See, he's *bleep* onto it now!"

"Deidara, you're as bad as Hidan," a third voice –much smoother and calmer than the other two, interrupted, "Afternoon Konoha! I'd just like to make an announcement; my co-hosts are idiots."

"We're not *bleep* idiots!"

"I'm Sasori, and this is _Akatsuki Live_."

Konoha University prided itself on many things. It had an outstanding arts programme, a high graduation rate, excellent GPA's and a reputation as one of the most prestigious Universities in the country. What it was most recognised for, however, was its sense of spirit.

For years, it had been regarded as a college for those who were trying to find their place in the world. It was a college filled with pride for who young people were and what they strove to become. It was kind of like its own little community in itself; a huge support structure with all manner of clubs, activities and events to foster friendship and a feeling of belonging.

Backing all of these events was the President of the Student Association; whose job it was to instil pride of the Uni into all its students, and to help make college days the best years of their lives.

His name, was Itachi Uchiha, and his most valuable resource available was the university media.

And that came in the form of the university magazine; _Word on the Street_, and its own radio station; _Akatsuki Live_. _Word on the Street_ was responsible for the weekly gossip, what was hot and happening, high profile couples and the ins and outs of the lives of the lecturers; whereas _Akatsuki Live_, hosted by three often less-than-charming DJs offered amusement and entertainment in the afternoons and evenings.

It was a normal Tuesday afternoon, and the writers of _Word on the Street_ were enjoying some down time as their boss; Itachi Uchiha; wandered in, chuckling at the arguments that Deidara and Hidan were currently engaged in on air.

"Afternoon everyone," he greeted with a dazzling Uchiha smile as a young man with a black bowl cut jogged past with a coffee; knees kicking up high, "Thanks Lee." Lee saluted immediately and continued with his distribution of coffee whilst at the same time having a decent workout. As he wandered over to his office, he caught sight of two young women immersed in what appeared to be an argument mid-yoga routine.

"Sakura, Ino, I could've sworn yoga was for dispelling negative energies," he remarked reproachfully, raising an eyebrow. Both of them turned to glare at him.

"But Itachi! Sakura thinks Darui is hotter than Omoi!" Ino complained hotly, "She published it in this week's issue even though we hadn't confirmed it!"

"Darui _is_ hotter than Omoi," Itachi sighed heavily, "But Sakura, he's far too old for you –"

"…I was just saying that he shouldn't have been on the top ten hottest bachelors of Konoha University," Ino grumbled crossly.

"…I knew I shouldn't've let you two write that this time…" Itachi sighed heavily, rolling his eyes, "Every time either of you write it, you put my little brother as number one, and I really can't deal with his ego at home…"

"Yeah, Sakura, what happened to me?" Naruto suddenly bounced over, sitting on the desk and striking a pose, "I totally deserve to be on that list! Look at this body of steel!"

"You're dreaming, Uzumaki," Kiba smirked, bounding over and bodily shoving his friend off the desk and onto the floor, striking up his own pose against the wall, "I'm so much hotter than you; right ladies?"

"In your dreams, mutt," Ino snorted, sticking her nose in the air.

" –Anyways, why didn't Neji get a spot in that top ten?" Naruto commented from the floor, looking directly up at Neji's back, "I mean, would you look at the ass on him?" Neji immediately spun around, glaring down and then realising that he'd now given Naruto a much nicer view. Naruto just stuck his tongue out cheekily and ducked under the table as Neji hurled a stapler at his head.

"Careful Naruto, you're heading for a sexual harassment charge," Suigetsu chuckled, only to be hit in the back of the head by an aggressive redhead, "Ow! Karin! I'm not going to talk to you if you keep abusing me! Itachi, _fire_ this mad woman already!"

Itachi just chuckled to himself, knocking on the window that his writers shared with the studio of _Akatsuki Live_. Hidan, Sasori and Deidara all looked up and he waved to them.

"Well, look here; our *bleep* dashingly handsome boss; Itachi Uchiha, has entered the building!" Hidan could be heard over the radio. Itachi just smirked and headed into his office. Sakura and Ino continued with their daily yoga as Hinata looked on, already starting the next week's assignment.

"Naruto, it's totally my turn to do the sports column," Kiba sighed heavily as Naruto dragged himself up from the floor, chuckling at Neji's mutinous look, "You did it last week."

"That's because the people like my sports columns more than yours," he sniffed with a grin, "And of course, we must give the people what they want…"

"No fair," Kiba snorted, cuffing Naruto over the head, "I shotgunned it last week when you stole it from me. I have an awesome interview with the Konoha Dragons rugby team this week!" Naruto's mouth dropped open.

"You did _not_ get an interview with the Dragons," he exclaimed in disbelief, "I've been trying to get one with them since second year!"

"My sister just started dating a prop," Kiba grinned triumphantly, flicking his friend in the forehead, "…I got the interview; _I_ get the sports column this week!" Naruto just pouted for a long moment before brightening again when he saw the large whiteboard that was tacked to one wall.

"Hey guys," he called out to the room, looking up at the clock, "…It's ten past one and the Temp hasn't shown up yet…" Everyone in the room looked up at the clock and burst out laughing.

"Maybe he's just…_running late_, like he was yesterday," Suigetsu sniggered.

" –And then didn't turn up…" Sakura laughed.

"What's that? Thirteen days before quitting?" Naruto chortled.

"That'd make a new record," Sakura admitted with a chuckle, quitting her yoga to head over to the whiteboard to examine it, "…But it's not official until Itachi announces it, remember? Technically the Temp's still hired."

"Yeah, well it better be fourteen days," Naruto grumbled, "…I totally bet like three coffees against Kiba on that…Speaking of bets…" He leapt up from his desk and rapped on the window, grabbing Hidan's attention. The platinum-haired man grinned evilly as he got the message.

"And now," Hidan's voice called through the speakers, " –We've got a little bet that we've had running for quite some *bleep* time now, ain't that right, Sasori?"

"That's right indeed," Sasori grinned.

"Guys…" Deidara inquired nervously as the writers in the room next door chuckled gleefully.

"Now, while the lovely Deidara hasn't been looking," Hidan drawled, "We've had a little bet going; and now we're revealing the results to our *bleep* listeners."

"So, a few weeks ago when Deidara was in class, we asked listeners to vote on what his number what; ie how many people they thought he'd been with," amusement trickled into Sasori's usually cold voice.

"WHAT?"

" –_People_, people," Hidan reminded them, "Remember; *bleep* Deidara here swings both ways!"

"You guys are *bleep* assholes, yeah!" Deidara snarled aggressively. Hidan looked over at the window where several of the writers were holding up pieces of paper with their guesses on it; written in blue for male; written in red for female.

"Ouch, Naruto reckons you've had no women and _twenty_ *bleep* men?" Hidan remarked, finding Deidara incredibly flushed and miming death gestures at the other blonde. He rattled off a few more guesses which were a little more realistic before requesting that Sasori tell him the true values.

" –Three females; twelve males," Sasori remarked with a small grin, "And it appears that _Karin_ has actually guessed properly? She must've cheated."

"I thought we were friends, Sasori, yeah," Deidara grumbled crossly, pouting as Hidan roared with laughter.

"I think someone's fucking leaning towards men," Hidan sniggered, Sasori not quite ready to bleep out his language, "Hey Sasori; I wonder how many of those dudes he topped for?"

"Not me," Sasori remarked casually.

"Neither," came Hidan's addition, to a rocket of laughter from the writers in the room next door and a stream of un-bleeped curses and insults from Deidara, "Oh come on, Dei; everyone knows you *bleep* love cock…"

"…I don't know if I'm meant to block out 'cock'," Sasori admitted.

"I DID NOT SLEEP WITH EITHER OF THESE TWO ASSHOLES!" Deidara snapped; only to be ignored.

"You let Deidara have 'asshole'," Hidan reminded him, "…Or well…at least, he lets everyone have his…" The elder man guffawed in laughter and there was a loud thunk over the radio as Hidan was bodily thrown from his seat.

"…Deidara just started dry-humping Hidan; we'll be right back," Sasori remarked in amusement.

"_I AM NOT FUCKING DRY HUMPING HIM_!" could be heard right before the radio station cut to music.

Hidan suddenly crawled out of the door that connected the studio to the office, with Deidara on his back, tearing at his hair. As soon as Deidara felt eyes on him, he froze, then slowly got up; got _off_ his co-DJ and headed for the water cooler. Naruto sauntered over cheekily, leaning against the wall.

"So…Dei…you wanna go make out?" he inquired teasingly.

"Fucking bite me, yeah?" Deidara snapped back crossly, to which Naruto burst out laughing all over again, "Sasori, what's this shit you're playing?"

"Music!" Sasori hollered back, "Unlike that _shit_ you play!"

"My music is true art!" Deidara growled, heading back over to the door that Hidan was leaning against, "It's an explosion of sound! Fleeting wonders! Absolutely beautiful!"

"Tacky and tasteless," Sasori sniffed, "Classics that will last forever; _that's_ true art!"

"You guys are fucking dumb," Hidan snorted, "It's not about the music; it's about the fucking entertainment!" And with that, he grabbed Deidara's ass with both hands and gave him a good grope, "How's about we make that thirteen males?"

"You're an asshole," Deidara snapped, swatting Hidan's hands away, "Itachi! When are you going to take my sexual harassment claims seriously?"

"When they're about someone other than Hidan," Itachi's voice hollered back through the door.

"If he fucking rapes me…" Deidara muttered mutinously, heading back into the studio.

"You'll be fucking begging for it," Hidan chortled, to which there was a resounding slap, and the two of them appeared again in their studio; much to the amusement of Sasori.

The writers of _Word on the Street_ began to settle down a little as Sasori's choice in music blared soothingly out through the loudspeakers.

Most of them had been working there together for two years, having been hired late first year or early second year. Everything had been pretty constant; Itachi had been President for four years now, and Hidan and Sasori had been DJs for nearly three. All that had really changed was the assistant editor position, AKA _Word on the Street_'s 'supervisor'.

No one could handle it. It was too stressful, and the nine writers too mad to handle. Hence the lack of surprise at another 'Temp' as they called them, not showing up. Not showing up two days in a row meant that a resignation was soon to follow, and this was usually within a month of the Temp starting. Thirteen days was a new record for them, however.

"Seriously, Suigetsu, could you _actually_ do some work?" Karin complained crossly, spinning on her swivel chair to observe the white-haired boy joining Naruto and Kiba in pulling faces at Deidara through the window, "And quit annoying Deidara!"

"Oh shut it, Karin," Suigetsu rolled his eyes, pausing in his torment, "What? Got a wee crush on Deidara, do we? Want to be his number four?"

"Bet she's one of the three," Naruto teased, "That's how she knew his number."

"That's shit and you know it," Karin snapped, "Sasuke's the only one for me," she added, her voice turning dreamy and making Suigetsu mime gagging.

"Sasuke fucking Uchiha?" he snorted, "Whoop de doo. What's so special about that guy?" Instantly, he was rounded on by not only Karin, but Sakura and Ino.

"He is the _hottest_ bachelor at Konoha University," Sakura immediately stated.

" –Ranked top in his class –"

" –Represents the University for football, judo _and_ basketball…"

"And the way he just says your name…"

All three girls swooned as Suigetsu, Kiba and Naruto mimed gagging.

"You girls are gross," Naruto snorted, wrinkling his nose.

"You're gross," Karin sniffed, and they were all about to launch into a new argument when there was a knock on the door.

"…Who is _that_?" Karin inquired immediately in a very interested voice, adjusting her glasses a little better, "The future father of my children?"

" –More like a new delivery guy," Neji snorted snobbily as the man entered the room. He was dressed in the typical black and red uniform of the delivery company they used, and he was completely blue.

"Hey there, hot stuff," Naruto remarked, sliding over the table smoothly and winking charmingly at the incredibly muscly newcomer.

"Naruto Uzumaki, right?" he inquired, "I'd heard you're quite the joker."

"Something of the sort," Naruto chuckled, leaping off the desk, "So, who the fuck are you and what've you got for us?" He was surprised when the man merely laughed at his phrasing.

"Kisame Hoshigaki," he replied in his gruff tone, "I've got a delivery for your boss."

"He's in his office," Neji offered, before Naruto had any time to say anything startling, "I warn you, Hidan may flash you on your way over if he sees you."

"I'm sure it'd be an honour," Kisame chuckled, and true to his word, when he walked past the window, Hidan immediately leapt up and whipped his cock out for a few seconds before sitting back down. Kisame merely bowed mockingly and knocked on Itachi's door –leaving Hidan to get hit in the face by Deidara.

"He's kinda hot," Karin remarked casually.

"…If you're into the whole blue thing…" Sakura rolled her eyes, "Come on, I'll shout you a coffee if you let me have the teacher gossip column this week?"

That was what made _Word on the Street_ so unique; not just because there were such interesting and diverse people writing the columns, but because who was writing each column changed practically every week. Itachi let them fight it out over their favourites, and they tried to bribe each other for the good ones.

That was how it had always been. They would come and go as they pleased, depending on when they had classes. Kiba and Naruto would always argue over Sports. The girls would always squabble over who got to write about the latest gossip and give advice. Neji and Hinata would graciously agree to most things, and Lee was not under any circumstances allowed to write about love. It included far too much usage of the word 'youthful'.

And so, finally, at around two o'clock that Tuesday afternoon, they settled down to do some actual work; enjoying the stories and fights of the _Akatsuki Live_ DJs.

Little did they know, that the delivery guy wasn't all that was about to change.


	2. Chapter 2

"Why is Sasuke Uchiha in Itachi's office?"

That was the question that was being whispered between the girls as Naruto entered the room at four o'clock, Wednesday afternoon; his classes having finished for the day.

"Um, maybe because Itachi's his brother?" he offered, as though this was a completely obvious answer –which it was. He slung his bag under his desk and pulled out his laptop.

"Sasuke _never_ visits Itachi," Sakura hissed.

"…And I'm sure _you'd _know, because you keep tabs on him?" Naruto raised an eyebrow teasingly, and her mouth opened and then shut again several times, not knowing whether or not to deny. He just laughed at her.

"I saw Shikamaru Nara go in there too…" Ino whispered, and they all cast a look over at Neji's back. The Hyuuga stiffened slightly, but apart from that, he acted as though this was completely unimportant, "Why's _Shikamaru_ back? I thought Itachi fired him?"

"Itachi never fired him," Naruto rolled his eyes, "Shikamaru was never _hired_. He just decided to come work with us sometimes, remember?"

"He was fantastic," Ino's eyes clouded over dreamily, "He just _knew_ everything. Like; all the gossip; all the rumours –everyone told him everything. He was like a database of knowledge!"

"Yeah, well…" Naruto just shrugged, knowing that Neji wasn't enjoying the conversation. He and Shikamaru had never really gotten along –well, Neji had never gotten on well with Shikamaru. The lazy genius had never seemed to have any problem with the Hyuuga.

Fairly soon, the door of Itachi's office opened, and the man himself exited with his younger brother; a handsome raven with pale skin and a disinterested, dark-eyed scowl. Karin, Ino and Sakura all swooned at his very presence as Itachi coughed, concealing a small smirk. The room fell silent.

"As I'm sure you're all aware," he began, "Yesterday I received a resignation from Yamato. He's decided that he has too much to worry about with lectures to continue his role here…" He heard snickers –they all knew the real reason why Yamato quit.

"Because of this, I've decided to employ a student as your supervisor –I mean –assistant editor –for a change," Itachi informed his workers, "My little brother, Sasuke, has been selected for the position." There were piercing squeals which both Uchihas tactfully ignored. "I hope you'll make him feel welcome…" he had the feeling they would do anything but, "…And take his advice into consideration.

They probably wouldn't. And on that note, he ushered his brother over to the window to explain a bit more about _Akatsuki Live_. Hidan looked over at the writers with a raised eyebrow. Karin slapped a piece of paper up against the window with the words 'New Temp' stamped across it.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" he exclaimed, and the music was abruptly cut, "We interrupt this broadcast to bring you some breaking news! The writers of _Word on the Street_ have a new Temp!"

"And a _sexy_ one at that, yeah," Deidara remarked, licking his lips dramatically.

" –None other than Sasuke *bleep* Uchiha," Hidan exclaimed, sitting back in his chair, "Well, well, I never would've thought it folks; two sexy bloody Uchihas working in the same building. Ups to you 'Tachi for supplying the eye candy." Itachi just smirked over at Hidan as his little brother glared at being objectified on local radio.

"Looks like we're opening up bets for how long this Temp lasts," Sasori remarked, "You know the number; call and place a bet! Closest guesses can enter the draw to be in to win a mystery prize!"

"If the prize is Deidara's ass, then I am totally entering," Hidan drawled, "…And not just the draw, if you know what I mean, Sasori."

"I hear you," Sasori chuckled, much to the outrage of Deidara.

" –We'll be back, keeping you up to date on how this new Temp is *bleep* doing," Hidan remarked, fending off hair-pulling from Deidara, "And now back to this shitty-ass music…" Calm resumed over the radio as Sasuke stalked away from his brother; fuming that he had been so instantly humiliated on air.

"So you're the new Temp?" Naruto remarked, sidling up behind Sasuke as he took a seat at his new desk.

" –I'm your new boss," he corrected in a flat tone, automatically disliking this obviously obnoxious, loud blonde.

"Oh, I do love a man in a position of power," Naruto shivered dramatically, licking his lips. Then, while Sasuke was still not expecting in, clambered straight into his lap, straddling him, "Preferably on top of me," he whispered into a pale ear in a husky voice.

"Get off me," the raven growled in a dangerous tone and Naruto immediately complied with a cheeky wink and a mocking 'call me' gesture amid a chorus of sniggers.

"Back to work, Naruto," Itachi chuckled.

"…He wasn't fucking working anyway," Kiba grumbled, but they all dispersed back to their respective desks, giggling all the while.

"Explain," Sasuke demanded in a deadly cold voice that simply amused his elder brother, watching warily as the others in the room immediately started whispering amongst themselves and throwing sly glances at him.

"Oh, they're just betting on your sexuality," Itachi shrugged, earning an aghast look from his little brother, "It's perfectly normal; they do it to everyone." He chuckled, "And Naruto's usually right, right, Naruto?"

"Ninety-seven percent of the time," Naruto saluted impishly, "My bet's on Sasuke being about as straight as cooked spaghetti." Sasuke found himself flushing slightly and rose from his chair.

"That's none of your business," he growled in a low tone, not allowing himself to raise his voice, lest that give the annoying blonde cause to think he'd gotten a reaction out of him. Naruto just smirked and grinned –a grin that immediately infuriated Sasuke for no reason that he could fathom.

"Someone is _definitely_ going to have to write an article about this," Karin exclaimed in delight, "Sasuke Uchiha, a member of _Word on the Street_!"

"There's no way I'm letting you have that article!" Sakura snapped crossly, hands on hips.

"No way!" Ino growled, "That article is _mine_!"

"Ladies, ladies, _please_," Suigetsu smirked, "I shotgunned the article about our new Temp on Friday…"

"He did," Neji remarked smoothly, barely having looked up the entire time that Sasuke had been in the room. The raven turned his eyes to the stern fourth year Law Student with intrigued eyes. He'd heard a lot about this Hyuuga –he was supposed to be an upstanding student who was known for his intellect and general properness.

"Stop fighting. The Temp doesn't need to see this. Oh, and Naruto; I'm on your side for this one."

Sasuke was about to inquire what he was on Naruto's side about and then remembered the ridiculous bet about his sexuality. He glared, having expected support from a fellow academic, but the Hyuuga just looked up at him with smirking pale eyes and smiled smugly.

No, he was not going to find an ally there.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, and who but the new delivery guy; Kisame, walked in carrying a small package under his arm.

"Afternoon, all," he greeted cordially, handing over the package to Itachi and receiving a signature, "Oh, you must be the new Temp."

" –Itachi, why is everyone calling me that?" Sasuke growled under his breath. Kisame chortled, greeting Suigetsu with a fist bump.

" –Don't you know anything about _Word on the Street_?" he sniggered, "They call you _Temp_ because that's what you are: _Temporary_." High-fiving Kiba on the way out, he turned and left, leaving Sasuke glaring at Itachi, demanding an explanation. Itachi lowered his breath as the other writers promptly ignored their new Temp.

"…He's correct," Itachi remarked with a small grin, "They…haven't had a supervisor that's lasted for longer than a month. Their most recent quit within a fortnight."

"Why?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow, looking at the room. Naruto and his mutt of a friend were joking around over by the water cooler; and those girls seemed rather annoying –and was there a guy with a bowl cut doing squats in the corner? "They seem like…losers…but I wouldn't see why someone would _quit_ over it." Itachi just chuckled to himself.

"I wouldn't call them losers," he warned, "They're very talented writers. You'd know, if you'd ever read a page of _Word on the Street_. Also…" he paused, wondering if he should really give his little brother a heads up, "…Don't listen to anything Hidan says; he's pretty much all bullshit. Don't let Lee have coffee…and don't tell them what to do. They don't like that."

"I'm their new boss. It's my _job_ to tell them what to do," Sasuke snapped, cursing that he'd let his mother guilt him into helping his elder brother. Itachi shrugged with a small smirk. Oh, these kids were going to eat him alive. That being all, he headed back to his office, clapping once to gain the room's attention for his brother.

The room went silent and Sasuke found nine pairs of eyes on him –well eight; Hinata wasn't looking at him directly.

"So, like Itachi said, I'm your new boss," he remarked in a cold voice.

"Temp," Kiba coughed out and there were several snickers that Sasuke silenced quickly with a glare.

"From the looks of it, Itachi has let this…little project of his…" he sounded incredibly distasteful, "…Run wild. I, however, have certain expectations. You will be on time. You will not shout –we are in an office, not a playground. And finally…" Itachi's office door opened once again.

"I am adding an addition to this team," he added, and there was a broad range of reactions to the sudden appearance of Shikamaru Nara in the room. Naruto and Kiba looked visibly ecstatic; leaping over chairs and desks to embrace Shikamaru enthusiastically –causing a kerfuffle that Sasuke didn't appreciate in the slightest.

However, on the other end of the scale, he could see that Neji, who he assumed had a constantly distasteful look on his face, was now wearing a deep scowl of resentment.

Interesting.

"Why, might I ask, is he joining this team?" Neji inquired in a voice that hid the venom that his eyes showed, "We do perfectly fine without him."

"Polls show that we had the most readers when Shikamaru was writing for us," Sasuke informed him, as Shikamaru took a free desk and instantly took a seat; putting his feet up on the table, much to Sasuke and Neji's chagrin, "Hence why I decided to hire him."

"Good to see you again," Naruto grinned, clapping him on the shoulder, "Hey, did you hear about that rumour that there were two lecturers having sex in one of the classrooms –"

"Asuma and Kurenai," Shikamaru immediately answered with a smirk and Naruto's jaw dropped.

"You're kidding me!" he exclaimed, and Shikamaru's grin just widened as he stretched, "Jeez, how do you even know these things?"

"I hear things. I see things. I work things out," he shrugged, casting an eye over at Neji, who was glaring at him from the corner of his eyes whilst maintaining the impression that he was looking at Sasuke. Oh, he remembered that disdainful look so well.

"Naruto hit on you yet?" Shikamaru inquired lazily, raising an eyebrow as Sasuke was about to point out that he wasn't finished talking.

"…Of sorts," Sasuke growled back, throwing a glare over at the blue-eyed idiot who just flashed a grin in his direction.

"Did you pass his test?" the other man inquired, "…I mean, what'd he say?"

"He thinks I'm gay," came the reply from between gritted teeth. Sasuke watched as Shikamaru's eyes travelled up and down his body for a long, analysing moment before smirking and turning to Naruto.

"Oi, Naruto; put me down for whatever you bet on the Temp," he hollered. Sasuke, realising that he wasn't going to get anything more said, snapped, "Get back to work."

As soon as he started up his laptop to get some sort of schedule drawn up, he heard a loud slap of something on glass, and spun around to realise that Ino was holding a piece of paper up to the window of the studio.

"What _are_ you doing?" he inquired in a distasteful tone.

"Telling the boys we've got Shikamaru back," she replied, blowing him a kiss and moving off to her seat, sticking out her chest and swaying her hips slightly. He sighed heavily, and then heard a loud squawk from the loudspeaker.

"Just in folks, we've got mother *bleep* SHIKAMARU NARA back on the team!" Hidan exclaimed, earning a "Shut the *bleep* up, Hidan, yeah!" from Deidara.

"We've just been informed that Sasuke Uchiha has made the bold decision to add freelance writer and rumoured private investigator slash know-it-all Shikamaru to the _Word on the Street _writing panel," Sasori's smooth tone explained, since Hidan was being loud and obnoxious, "We're taking calls about these sudden changes; feel free to dial us."

"We've already got someone on the line, yeah," Deidara remarked rather gleefully, having managed to stuff a significant amount of Hidan's sweater into his mouth, "Sasori-has-bad-taste-in-music, this is Akatsuki Live," he greeted.

"Oh my god, I just _had_ to call up and say _Sasuke is so dreamy_!" a familiar voice blared out over the radio, "He's so sexy; I can't believe I get to work with him!"

"…Is that Karin?" Sasori deadpanned, looking out through the window, "Karin, if this is you, we've warned you about fangirling on air. Hidan…"

"Get the *bleep* off the *bleep* line you *bleep*!" Hidan exclaimed, "Or I'll shove that *bleep* phone so far up your *bleeeeeeeep*" The rest of his sentence was completely blanked out with bleeps as Karin immediately emerged from the girl's bathroom with phone held sheepishly in hand. A little bush adorning her cheeks, she immediately headed back to her seat to be teased by Suigetsu.

"…And now we have a (hopefully) non-psycho non-stalker on the line," Sasori remarked with a small chuckle at the way Karin was now being teased, "Deidara-wants-Hidan's-cock, this is Akatsuki Live."

"I DO NOT –" Deidara was obviously cut off as Sasori hit his mute button as the caller answered.

"Hey, I just thought I'd say what everyone's thinking on the whole 'adding the Nara to the team'," a male voice remarked conversationally.

"And what's everyone thinking, yeah?" Deidara inquired, apparently having been allowed the use of his mic again.

" –Is it such a good move getting him to work with _Word on the Street_?" came the reply, "I mean, everyone knows that Neji Hyuuga fucking hates Shikamaru, so is it a good idea getting them to work together?"

Neji looked up at the sound of his name and then flushed slightly pink when he saw that Shikamaru had been listening as well. Instead of looking down awkwardly, he settled on just raising an eyebrow and returning Shikamaru's questioning, amused gaze, as if to say, 'and what are you going to do about it?'

Everyone in the room had heard, and everyone in the room had looked at Neji. It was a fairly well-known fact that Neji had disapproved of Shikamaru the moment they had laid eyes on each other. It was also well-known that this disapproval had started when they first met back in high school.

"A little friendly rivalry never hurt anyone, right, Hidan?" Sasori remarked conversationally to fill the silence that had followed –also having spotted the amused look Shikamaru had given Neji following the statement that Neji hated him, as if to say, 'is that so?'

"Exactly," Hidan drawled, "You and me've been fighting over Deidara's ass for years, and look at us; fucking tight as Sasuke Uchiha's ass –" he smirked out the window and found that he had earned himself a very dark, deathly look.

"Maybe you two should just fuck each other, yeah," Deidara muttered crossly, folding his arms moodily.

"By the way," the caller announced in a resigned voice, "My girlfriend wanted me to tell you that she totally 'ships' Hidan and Deidara."

"Oh, isn't that *bleep* cute?" Hidan remarked, Sasori having remembered he was meant to be keeping Hidan's language off air, "See Dei; other people want me to *bleep* you too."

"I *bleep* hate you."

Sasuke sighed heavily as he scanned the room. Well, obviously he was going to have to put up with those three idiots on the radio; and then there was the matter of the rest of the writers…

His brother, in his office, simply smirked as he thought of what those writers were going to put his poor, darling brother through. There was a sudden, resounding crash of something from the office.

" –Naruto, fix your desk." Itachi could hear the thinly veiled anger in his brother's voice and allowed himself a laugh.

They were going to be good for him.

* * *

**Remember to review so I know people want to see more!**


	3. Chapter 3

The following day, Sasuke arrived at the office directly on time, feeling satisfied with the drafts and the assignments he had planned the previous night. He felt that the way he had organised everything, the whole operation would run a lot smoother and more efficiently.

Of course, the first thing he heard upon entering the room was Hidan's cackle.

" –And there was this one time I was staying in the dorms –" he was saying, as his other two co-hosts burst out laughing at what was probably something juvenile and crass, "Flipped the guy's entire room while he was out drinking…"

Sasuke wasn't interested.

Instead of listening, he was wondering why on earth the desks had been pushed to one side of the room and why there was what appeared to be a yoga class in session in the cleared area. Sakura, Ino, Hinata and Neji were all sitting on actual yoga mats, with Sakura apparently leading the class.

"…What's going on here?" Sasuke inquired with a dark scowl.

"Yoga," came the answer; as though it hadn't been completely obvious what they were doing.

"Would you care to join us?" Hinata asked in her shy voice, nervously looking up at him from her place on the floor.

"No, I would not," he replied in a forceful tone, "Someone explain to me why you're doing yoga instead of working."

"Yoga stimulates our creative flow," Ino explained simply, "Itachi encourages it."

"Also, it's good for flexibility," Shikamaru remarked with a smirk from where he was smoking over by the window.

" –You can't smoke in here," Sasuke immediately growled at him as a warning. Shikamaru simply shrugged and raised an eyebrow; taking a long, deep drag on his smoke and puffing it out the window nonchalantly.

"That's disgusting," Neji snorted, wrinkling his nose. Shikamaru just smirked.

"And they're _off_!" Hidan's voice cackled through the loudspeakers, and Sasuke heard a loud whoop from the other side of the room; turning with trepidation.

Before his very eyes, he was suddenly witness to what could be nothing other than an obstacle course designed from the moved furniture. Naruto, Lee, Kiba and Suigetsu were leaping over desks; lunging onto chairs and slinking under tables; all the while forcing each other back.

" –And Kiba has taken the lead after a dirty elbow to Naruto!" Hidan was commentating, "And it's Suigetsu coming up behind him! Lee takes a chair to the knee! Ouch, this is turning into quite the race! Oh come on, Sasori! This is a good time!"

"…I would have to disagree," came Sasori's drab reply as Deidara chortled in laughter as Suigetsu very blatantly tripped Naruto, sending him reeling over a chair and crashing into Sasuke.

The two of them plummeted to the floor in a tangle of limbs and landed awkwardly amidst the yoga class; Naruto perched in Sasuke's lap rather dramatically.

"Get off me," Sasuke growled, feeling that he'd already had to say this far too much.

"…No need to get all angry," Naruto snorted, getting to his feet.

"I'd say he's still a little sore about your little stunt from yesterday," Kiba cackled with a grin, and a mutinous look from Sasuke indicated that he was correct. Naruto just smirked and rolled his eyes.

"Don't get ahead of yourself," he advised the raven as he picked himself up off the floor, "You're nothing special."

"Yeah; Naruto tends to straddle practically every temp we get," Kiba shrugged.

"And anyway –you interrupted our race," Naruto snapped rather crossly, folding his arms indignantly.

"Only because you were idiotic enough to get tripped," Sasuke growled, "You shouldn't be running _obstacle courses_ in here in the first place! We're an office –"

" –Not a playground…" the rest of the room chorused in a bored tone. His expression soured and he folded his arms sternly.

"Get this place put back together," he ordered in a haughty tone, "And you, Sakura; get rid of those ridiculous yoga mats. That's to be done in your own time."

"This _is_ our own time," she complained with a small frown.

"It's _my_ time," he snorted, "You're here to do a job, and you're going to do it." When no one moved he put on his patented Uchiha glare and demanded, "Now."

The room grudgingly came to life again, though it was with slumped shoulders and frowning faces. The boys started pushing the desks back into position while the girls rolled up the yoga mats –Ino complaining that her creative flow had been interrupted, and how was she ever to work like that?

Sasuke ignored her.

He ignored all their complaints.

"Fetch me a coffee," he ordered of Lee, who saluted (a little unwillingly) and shot off to do as he was bid.

"Typical," Naruto grumbled, "Of course Lee's going to do what he's told…"

"You could learn a thing or two from him," Sasuke growled from behind him, causing the blonde to turn and observe him with strong blue eyes.

"What? How to listen to a bastard?" he spat back, folding his arms defiantly.

" –Folks, looks like there's a *bleep* stand-off between long-time writer Naruto Uzumaki and the new Temp; Sasuke Uchiha!" Hidan exclaimed.

"I'm your boss, Uzumaki, and you'd do well to remember it," Sasuke growled in a low tone.

"Or what, Temp?" Naruto smirked, "We all know you're going to be gone in a matter of weeks. That's always how it is. You don't have what it takes to be one of us."

"Who said I ever wanted to be one of you losers?" he sniffed back.

" –Words hurt, Sasuke," Naruto simpered mockingly, "Has anyone told you that you have a gigantic stick up your ass?"

" –Has anyone told you that you talk too much, moron?" came the retort.

"Frequently," Naruto smirked.

"Well, in that case; shut up," Sasuke growled, "Before I start thinking about gifting you with a muzzle." The two of them remained locked in a stalemate for a long moment; gazes locked defiantly, until Naruto simply smirked, and with one hand, gently caressed Sasuke's face.

"I feel bad for you; really I do," he sighed in a mocking tone, "No friends. All work; no play. So you hide behind being a snob and an asshole. It's sad, really." He grinned, stroking Sasuke's cheek again playfully, "Trust me. I'm a journalist. We know things. Right Shikamaru?"

"He's correct," Shikamaru sounded incredibly amused as Sasuke finally swatted away Naruto's hand.

" –Go back to your seats," the raven snapped, and they did so, all giggling and Naruto looking like he'd just got one up on the Temp.

Sasuke was loath to admit that Naruto was right about him in a lot of respects. He didn't want to admit to himself that he'd liked the way the rough pads of Naruto's thumb had caressed his cheek; or the way it felt to have his weight in his lap.

Of course, he shrugged this all off. The blonde was irritating. That was all. And he was simply _irritated_ by him –that was it. Coughing to clear his throat, he headed up to the head of the room.

"So, this week, I've assigned you your columns –" he began.

"Are you kidding?" instantly Naruto's voice was questioning him. With a dry look, he looked over at the blonde with the message in his eyes to shut up for face consequences.

Of course, Naruto didn't care.

"We always pick our own columns," he protested.

" –Well, we're starting a _new_ system," Sasuke explained, as though he were talking to a small, mentally damaged child, "It's too inefficient for you to be arguing over who does what each week. It's far better for you to have your set columns –"

"But that's how _everyone_ does it!" Kiba snorted.

" –They do it, because it works well," Sasuke reminded him darkly, "I'm in charge here now, because Itachi deemed me capable of turning this magazine into something _other_ than a farce."

"It's funny," Neji remarked in a condescending tone, "Itachi has never expressed displeasure at our work before."

"Why else would he have given this position to me?" was the reply he received.

"Maybe because he wanted someone to blame for hiring Shikamaru," Neji replied, his voice casual but full of ice.

Everyone groaned.

They'd all heard this speech before. Neji had always believed that Shikamaru was a sub-par journalist; someone who specialised in trickery and using people for information after having gained their trust. Of course he was going to say that hiring Shikamaru was a terrible idea –a suicidal decision.

Shikamaru, over in the corner just sighed heavily as he felt eyes on him as he continued with his smoke.

He had a sixth sense that told him when Neji Hyuuga was displeased with him.

It had started in freshman year of high school. Neji had always been the top student; always working hard for everything he got; but when he had met Shikamaru, he had been introduced to the placement known as 'second-best'. Somehow, despite having slept through most his classes, and half of his final exam, Shikamaru still managed to come out with the top score.

And so it had begun. Four years of resentment and anger from the Hyuuga; hatred of the Nara's ability to get by well without any effort; hatred of his sloppy, casual style; his inherent _lateness_, his lazy attitude, and the apparent disregard he had of Neji's opinion.

Of course, it had been only natural that the two of them would be the two head boys of their high school, forcing them to work together. Shikamaru was the more well-liked of the two, so he tended to get away with more. Neji, who prided himself on his work ethic and organisational abilities, couldn't stand it.

And now, even after so many years, Shikamaru's sixth sense was still up and running, and he knew that even now, Neji was judging his clothes; his stance; his attitude; the cigarette in his left hand.

"Hiring Shikamaru was my idea," Sasuke remarked coldly, "He is an excellent journalist, and readers appear to have liked his writing. Therefore, it made sense to rehire him. I don't know why he hasn't been hired before now."

"There were…shall we say; artistic differences," Shikamaru drawled, his eyes boring into the back of Neji's head, leaving no doubt in anyone's mind of who he was referring to, "Itachi respected that. And it was too troublesome to bother staying."

"Everything is just too troublesome for you, isn't it?" Neji turned, his eyes cold. Shikamaru sighed.

"Neji, can we not do this?" he muttered.

"We were perfectly fine without you here," the brunette growled darkly.

"You _will_ work together," Sasuke snapped in a tone that indicated that his decision was final. There was silence again as Shikamaru and Neji glared at each other coolly over the heads of their peers before both stubbornly averting their eyes.

"Let's get one thing straight," Naruto remarked, his eyes flashing, "_You_ are temporary. Just because you're Itachi's brother, and just because you think you're our boss, doesn't mean you're getting any special treatment." And on that note, as if some cue invisible to Sasuke had been given, the entire room settled down at their desks in complete silence, and all that could be heard was the sound of tapping keys and mouse clicks.

Not quite understanding what on earth was going on, Sasuke headed over to his brother's office just as Kisame entered the room with a small package.

Itachi looked up with a small smile as his office door opened to reveal his little brother standing there with the delivery boy. Sasuke was looking perplexed. He signed for the package gratefully and observed his little brother as he took a seat.

"What is _wrong_ with those people?" Sasuke demanded to know crossly and Itachi struggled to hide his amusement, "Itachi, these people are completely insane! That, and they have no concept of respect!"

"Respect is earned, Sasuke," Itachi reminded him with a dry smirk. Sasuke didn't really seem to have a response for that, but settled with folding his arms sulkily. Itachi, taking pity on his brother, sighed heavily.

"Look, Sasuke, if you want this to work out; rally them together," he advised, "…Become one of them. Give them something for you all to work towards."

"And what if I don't want to become one of them?" Sasuke snapped irritably.

"…Then good luck," his brother replied in an amused tone.


	4. Chapter 4

How on earth Sasuke had been roped into this was completely beyond him. He suspected that a great deal of it could've been labelled as sexual assault, but of course, his brother had ignored all his deathly glares.

This was humiliating. Why did these idiots find this sort of thing amusing?

Coming into work that afternoon had been a bad idea, Sasuke had immediately realised as soon as he entered the office to discover that all the males of the office, including his own brother, the delivery boy, and the _Akatsuki Live_ DJs, were all standing in the middle of the room; shirtless.

He'd barely had time to acknowledge what was going on in the room before Kiba had rushed up, grabbed him, and Hidan had practically torn his shirt off.

It wasn't that Sasuke didn't have a good body; he had a fantastic body. It was the fact that he had been forced into this situation; this stupid 'hotness contest', that was mortifying.

Although, he was comforted by the fact that he could probably win.

Sakura, Ino, Karin, Hinata and unsurprisingly, Naruto, were the judges, and were holding microphones; obviously broadcasting over the radio.

"Our next competitor is none other than our not-so-charming DJ, Hidan," Sakura announced, "Remember ladies, photos will be presented in the next issue!"

"Not just ladies," Naruto interrupted her, "A couple of us men appreciate a nice body." He paused in his words to run his eyes over the male chests revealed to him. Hidan was striking a dramatic pose.

"Come on, Deidara," Hidan grinned, grabbing the smaller blonde by the hips and tugging him back against his firm chest at the exact moment that Ino started taking pictures.

"KISS HIM, HIDAN!" Ino shrieked suddenly as Deidara wriggled in horror with his back against Hidan's taut chest.

"No! Don't!" Deidara exclaimed, squirming against the hands restraining him. Hidan just chuckled as Sasori grabbed the blonde's head with a bored look and turned it so that he was forced to face the platinum-haired man. Before Deidara could react, Hidan's lips were latched on his, tongue thrusting past protesting lips and deep into his mouth.

The camera flashed several times in quick succession as Hidan took complete advantage of the situation and thrust both his hands down the front of Deidara's pants, very blatantly groping him.

Sasuke's mouth went dry at the sight. Two shirtless males making out in front of him like that…he felt his body grow a little warm as he watched Deidara writhe against Hidan's strong arms.

Sasori finally released Deidara's head, and the blonde drew back, red-faced and breathless. It took a total of four seconds for him to realise that Hidan's hands were in his pants, and another second for him to start spurting out curses and threats.

"…I think everyone can guess what just happened there," Sakura admitted with a laugh, "…And for those with less imagination…it's a picture worth seeing."

"Hot," Naruto agreed with a chuckle, to which Deidara replied with a very aggressive, "Fuck off!"

The judges were taking it in turns to examine the bodies of the contestants; often making comments or offering praise.

Sasuke stiffened as they approached him, having been unable to escape the line-up. The girls were drooling, and Naruto was chuckling to himself. The raven found himself unable to look away from the blonde's own rather appealing body. He was incredibly tanned and obviously toned –and it was indeed pleasing to the eye.

"See something you like, Uchiha?" Naruto teased, sticking out his tongue impishly.

"Tch. As if," Sasuke dramatically rolled his eyes and folded his arms, only to have them yanked back down to his sides by Naruto. As he did so, those tanned thumbs trailed lightly down Sasuke's sides and he couldn't help but shiver a little. If the blonde noticed, he made no comment, but instead jabbed him in the abdomen experimentally.

"Abs of steel," he confirmed with a nod, "We have a strong competitor here, ladies –but we all knew that, right? Sasuke Uchiha; self-proclaimed sex-god extraordinaire!" Instead of sinking to Naruto's level, Sasuke just had to settle with gritting his teeth and bearing the scrutiny the women were obviously enjoying lavishing him with. Instead of locking eyes with them, he glanced over his 'competition'. He knew he had a much stronger, muscular body than his brother, who was lithe and toned –and Kiba was brawny. Suigetsu was surprisingly muscular –which was earning an intrigued look from Karin –and Lee, well, he wasn't even really in the contest.

There was Kisame –he was huge; incredibly muscular; abs on his abs kind of deal, with broad shoulders and a slim waist. Deidara and Sasori were both slight yet toned, but Hidan was blatantly a bit of a hunk; something a furiously blushing Deidara seemed to be trying to deny.

Shikamaru and Neji had been placed side by side in the line-up, much to Neji's chagrin. His jaw was set irritably, and he was looking pointedly in any direction except to his left –refusing to acknowledge the other's presence. Shikamaru sighed heavily.

It had been that way for a few weeks now. Sasuke had noted the Hyuuga's seemingly unreasonable hatred of Shikamaru, and it irked him that someone as proper as Neji was allowing something like this to get in the way of his professional life.

"After _much_ deliberation –" Naruto announced suddenly, "We have decided that our third place goes to Shikamaru Nara!" Shikamaru just chuckled to himself as Sasuke looked over with a small frown and his eyes narrowed.

Okay, to be fair, the Nara wasn't too broad, too skinny, too muscular…he could understand why he'd been given a placing…

And then he told his brain to shut up and stop checking out men.

"Second place goes to Suigetsu…." Karin grumbled rather crossly, and he immediately laid an arm against the wall she was leaning on and smirking at her toothily.

"Oh, would you look at that?" he grinned mischievously, "Karin thinks I'm _sexy_, don't you?"

"I do not!" she defended hotly, pushing him away and then blushing when she realised she'd pressed up against his bare, very attractive chest.

"And finally, we've decided; against our better judgment to award _Hidan_ first place," Naruto grumbled –to immediately outcry. Neji was protesting that Shikamaru couldn't _possibly_ have a better body than him; Kiba grumbled; Naruto play-sobbed at not getting placed (despite being a judge), and Deidara of course was being slightly molested by the ever-arrogant Hidan –much to Sasori's amusement.

Sasuke's mouth literally fell open in astonishment. He hadn't even gotten a placing? What sort of bullshit was this? Itachi just chuckled to himself and clapped his little brother on the shoulder.

"Jealous are we?" he teased with a small smirk, to which Sasuke immediately glared back at him, snatching his shirt up from the desk. Itachi was busy pulling on his blazer when Sasuke frowned.

"…Since when do you wear blazers?" Sasuke was instantly suspicious.

"Can't I wear something nice?" Itachi shot back –a little too quickly; earning a raised eyebrow from his brother, who gave him a once over and smirked.

"You're looking awfully dressed up today, big brother," he commented sneakily, eyeing the neat way his brother was presented today, "Doesn't Itachi look nice today, Naruto?" Naruto, unused to actually being addressed, paused and turned with a confused look.

"Wow, yeah, Itachi you look great," he remarked with a beaming grin, "What's the occasion?"

"No reason," Itachi sniffed, "Aren't I allowed to dress nicely?"

"Not in a blazer and dress pants," Sasuke smirked, and Itachi just glared at him before buttoning his shirt and heading off to his office, leaving the rest of the crew looking a little amused –and very intrigued.

"Something's up with Itachi," Sasuke mused, mostly to himself.

"Because the man's changed his dress sense, really?" Sasori sighed heavily, and irritably added, "_Hidan_, unhand Deidara…" All eyes moved over to the corner where Hidan had a half-naked Deidara pressed up against the wall and was grinding into him heavily, his rough lips swallowing the blonde's protests. Deidara was incredibly flushed, and his fingers were clutching Hidan's huge biceps with a mixture of arousal and anger.

"Hidan, you're disgusting," Sasuke snorted distastefully, "We're in public; not on a porn shoot." Hidan quit what he was doing to look over his shoulder at him.

" –So can I go finish him off in the bathroom then?" he inquired with a cheeky wink; slipping a hand into Deidara's pants again, to which Deidara just wailed in a very unmanly kind of way and squirmed against the wall. Sasori just sighed and grabbed Hidan by the ear, tugging him away from their co-host and dragging him back to the studio. He could be heard berating the platinum-haired man and promptly ignoring Deidara's claims of sexual assault.

"We're going to find out what's up with him, right, Temp?" Naruto inquired excitedly.

"That's not our business," Sasuke snapped, "And stop calling me that."

" –We run a magazine; of _course_ it's our business," Naruto complained, "Oh come on, Sasuke! We never get any dirt on Itachi! And you know him best!" Sasuke sighed heavily but then smirked to himself. If there really was something up with Itachi, this was the perfect time to get him back for forcing him into this!

"Fine," he decided grudgingly, "What exactly did you have in mind?"

* * *

What Naruto had in mind was exactly what the team did every time they had gossip worth writing. It would involve tailing the subject for a while and interviewing friends to determine what was the norm. Since they had Sasuke Uchiha; their boss's beloved little brother at their disposal, they could skip the interviewing and head straight to the tailing.

Neji was beyond annoyed.

Of _course_ he had to be paired with Shikamaru. Something out there hated him; that had to be it. Usually he'd be doing his spying with Hinata, but she had work that afternoon and so had been excluded from tailing duty.

And now, here he was, hanging around in the food court with the _last_ person in the world he wanted to be there with. He scowled to himself, and vaguely realised that Shikamaru was saying something.

"What?" he demanded crossly. Shikamaru rolled his sleepy eyes dramatically.

"Do you want ice cream?" he repeated in a tired voice, pointing to the ice cream parlour that was in the centre of the food court, "Itachi's gone into one of the menswear shops –that's Suigetsu and Karin's territory for the meantime."

"Why Naruto insists on putting them together, I don't know," Neji grumbled, mostly to himself –and mostly projecting.

"…Because they work well together," Shikamaru smirked in amusement, "Karin plays the part of the nagging, overbearing girlfriend absolutely perfectly. And everyone knows she secretly wants him." Neji just rolled his eyes. "Ice cream? Coffee?" He received no answer, but they both made their way over to the parlour anyway. Shikamaru immediately ordered a double shot long black for himself and a chai latte for Neji.

"Chai latte?" Neji remarked flatly.

"You drink them all the time," came Shikamaru's simple response. Neji just folded his arms and took a seat as far from the other man as possible without it seeming too obvious. Shikamaru smirked in amusement, eyeing the shop that Itachi had gone into. Karin and Suigetsu had just emerged; Suigetsu looking completely worn out and carrying a ridiculous amount of bags.

"Save me," he groaned, slumping into a seat as Karin went to order an ice cream, "Why do these missions always turn into a shopping spree?" He sighed heavily and gratefully accepted the water that she brought over for him.

"So, what'd you see?" Neji inquired, eager to get out of there ASAP.

"Well, he bought some new clothes –like, _fancy_ clothes," Karin exclaimed, "God did he look _damn fine_ in them –" Suigetsu rolled his eyes and bit his lip irritably. Shikamaru chuckled to himself.

"It's weird, now that Sasuke pointed it out…" Karin continued thoughtfully, "Itachi used to be a sweater and jeans kind of guy…now he's buying blazers and skinny jeans…and some of those dress shirts…"

"You're drooling," Suigetsu muttered –she ignored him.

"And the Temp said that nothing's changed in Itachi's life to make him change…" Neji mulled.

"I think it's pretty obvious," Shikamaru remarked, scratching the back of his head, "He's dressing up to impress someone." He chuckled again, "…Our boss has a crush." The others near him frowned and seemed to be struggling with the concept of Itachi Uchiha –their student association president –with a _crush_ on someone.

"Okay, we're going to report back to Naruto and the Temp," Suigetsu sighed heavily, gazing with great disdain at the large amount of shopping bags that Karin obviously expected him to carry. The redhead had collected her ice cream as Shikamaru and Neji's drinks were brought over to them.

"We'll see if he goes anywhere else," Shikamaru offered with a sympathetic glance as Suigetsu started hefting up the bags and trying to stack them.

"_Hurry up Suigetsu_!"

Suigetsu simply whimpered and with incredible reluctance, began heading after the spitfire.

Neji and Shikamaru sat in silence as they had their drinks, eyes wandering the food court and avoiding each other's gaze. They watched Itachi head in for a haircut and then into a shoe shop; arms laden with bags.

"I've never known Itachi to be like this," Shikamaru remarked in amusement, finishing his coffee, "Someone must've really caught his eye for him to be dressing up like this."

"And how would you even know Itachi; you've barely worked with us," Neji snapped irritably.

"There's this thing called 'being social'," came the reply, "It may be a foreign concept for you. I'd put money on it that I know him better than you." Of course, Neji's lips just tightened and he pushed his cup away from himself, reaching for his wallet to pay back Shikamaru for the drinks as they spied Itachi heading for the exit; finally.

"Don't worry about it," Shikamaru shrugged simply, getting to his feet. Neji glared, but said nothing as they began moving off towards the escalator, "Hey, I'll head to check in with the Temp; feel free to go home; I know you have a law assignment due in a few days."

" –How do you know…"

"It's my job to know things," Shikamaru smirked, stepping onto the escalator. They rode up it in silence again, Neji with his arms folded and looking stubbornly to the side. Shikamaru turned back and looked down at him.

"…See, it wasn't so bad spending the afternoon with me, was it?" he chuckled teasingly –teasing that the Hyuuga did not appreciate in the slightest. He was about to hotly insult the other man, when the escalator suddenly jerked to a halt; jolting everyone on it…

…And sending Neji launching forwards into Shikamaru.

Shikamaru stumbled backwards a little, eyes widening as he straightened up and realised that there was now something hot and soft pressed against his mouth. Neji's eyes were wide and startled; his hands pressed against Shikamaru's chest.

Unable to resist this hilarious opportunity, Shikamaru allowed an eyebrow to rise in a smirk as he pressed his lips back against Neji's; thrusting his tongue through unprepared lips, eliciting a shocked gasp from the brunette.

Neji was horrified by several things. He was mortified by the fact that he had fallen against Shikamaru and had slipped into an accidental kiss by an _escalator_ –and then there was the fact that _Shikamaru was kissing him_! And not subtly or gently either! His tongue was deliberately plunging deep into his mouth, caressing his tongue…

In the back of his mind, Neji acknowledged that Shikamaru was in no way a bad kisser.

Then, with an aghast scowl, he shoved him against the side of the halted escalator and stormed up off it without even looking back. Shikamaru just chuckled to himself, wiping his lips with the back of his hand and satisfied with the way Neji's ears and neck appeared to be blushing quite dramatically.

Whistling to himself, he headed off up the escalator to head back to the office to report to the Temp.

* * *

**Poor mortified Neji! Something out there really does hate him! :D Next chapter soon, I promise  
xx K**


	5. Chapter 5

Shikamaru was the kind of man to just _know_ things. He was an observant person, even if he never really seemed like it. People would think he was sleeping or not paying attention when really, he was attentive to every detail –maybe that was why he was such a good source of information. No one expected him to be watching; noticing.

And currently, he _knew_ two things.

The first was that Itachi Uchiha was alternating between deflecting and lying through his teeth; and the second was that Sasuke Uchiha and Naruto Uzumaki were attracted to each other.

How did he know these things?

Well, for the first one, Itachi was currently on air with Hidan and Sasori –Deidara having been dragged off air when Hidan had decided to start groping him. Of course, he was being interviewed on the topic of this new, speculated "crush". Itachi was denying everything; claiming that it was his own business and he had a right to his private life.

"Itachi, don't you run a very successful magazine that often highlights gossip and scandals?" Sasori was reminding him.

"Be that as it may," Itachi was saying, "…I am the president of Konoha University's student association –which means that –"

" –Doesn't that make people want to *bleep* know more about you?" Hidan remarked slyly, "We never hear *bleep* anything about your life. Gotta *bleep* give the people what they *bleep* want!"

"…Sasori, I have never commended you for so proficiently beeping out Hidan's foul mouth," the Uchiha commented smoothly.

"No deflecting, Uchiha," Sasori warned.

" –Where have these rumours come from?" Itachi scoffed.

"Well, a few of the staff members here have noticed an interesting change in style recently," Sasori informed him, "You're looking awfully pretty these days, right, Hidan?"

"Absolutely *bleep* sexy as *bleep*," Hidan affirmed. Shikamaru chuckled to himself as he heard Itachi proclaim that he had just decided to take his role more seriously and had to dress appropriately. He was lying. Itachi had a crush, and it didn't take a genius like Shikamaru to know it. Even Hidan, who was not known for his intellectual capability was having no bar of Itachi's façade.

And then there was the situation with Sasuke and Naruto. Shikamaru looked across the room and discovered the two of them locked in a very violent wrestling match over a stapler. The two of them were ridiculous. For the last while, he had watched them in their stupid, petty fights, and the funny thing was that they couldn't seem to keep their hands off each other.

All their fights would end up with one of them on the floor; or one of them pressed against something. Naruto just loved provoking Sasuke, and more and more frequently the Temp was rising to it. Ever since they had had that shirtless competition, Shikamaru had noticed the way that Sasuke's eyes traversed Naruto's body, and the way blue eyes often strayed to pale features when the latter wasn't looking.

"They're shameless, aren't they?" Suigetsu rolled his eyes, coming over to the window where Shikamaru was having a smoke. When the lazy genius raised an eyebrow, Suigetsu simply nodded at where Sasuke had succeeded in snatching the stapler away from the furious blonde. "I don't think there's ever been such sexual tension in the air before."

"Oh, and you're not including yourself and Karin?" Shikamaru teased. Suigetsu glared and then sighed.

"I know she wants me. You know she wants me. She just won't _admit_ she wants me," he shrugged, "Just like Naruto and the Temp are being little bitches about this."

"We should set them up," Shikamaru remarked thoughtfully, "Make them be around each other."

"Good luck with that," Suigetsu scoffed, "There's no way you're manage to convince either of them to spend time with each other like that." Shikamaru smirked, flicking the butt of his cigarette out of the window.

"…You underestimate me," he smirked, rolling his shoulders, "Just make sure you've got tomorrow night free."

"Tomorrow night…_Ohh_!" Suigetsu suddenly caught on, grinning from ear-to-ear.

What Shikamaru had planned was possibly the only situation where he could trick Naruto and Sasuke to go on a date. It just so happened that every Thursday night, _Word on the Street_ ran a blind date service for a lucky random couple.

Of course, he told Sasuke that it was a good idea for him to go on one; get a bit of a feel for the column; also, it was about time they had a special feature; and who else better suited that the infamous heartbreaker _Sasuke Uchiha_.

And then Naruto just had to be told after work that Thursday night that the guy who was going had backed out and they couldn't let anyone else know on such short notice. Naruto, being Naruto, had instantly offered to help out.

* * *

"Neji, give me your jacket…"

"No, Hinata! I refuse to go in there dressed like this!"

Shikamaru sighed heavily, having recognised Neji's stern voice from the main entrance of the restaurant. He eyed himself in a nearby mirror, running a hand through his hair that was out of its usual ponytail.

"Come on, Neji! They're going to be here soon!"

"I refuse to go a step further."

"Neji, go in, or these photos are going on Facebook."

" –What photos is Karin talking about?"

Shikamaru waved over his co-workers lazily, already seeing Ino stationed in the kitchen as the dishwasher for the night, and spying Kiba sitting over in one of the booths waiting for Hinata to bring over Karin and Suigetsu.

The team wouldn't miss this for the world.

There seemed to be quite a bit of jostling from behind Hinata (who was rather boldly dragging someone along), and finally, Karin managed to seize a jacket to reveal none other than Neji himself, looking well…rather not like _him_self.

"You look beautiful," Hinata assured her cousin.

"I'd have sex with you," Suigetsu offered as what was probably intended as a compliment.

"Neither statement reassures me," Neji growled aggressively, "I am a _man_! And I have no interest in sleeping with you, Suigetsu!"

"I know, I know," Suigetsu smirked, "I'm just saying; if you _were_ a chick, I'd totally go there." Karin growled in her throat and snatched at his arm to drag him over to Kiba; Suigetsu miming 'help me' gestures as he was bodily towed away.

Shikamaru couldn't help but give Neji an incredibly obvious; incredibly amused glance over.

Neji was dressed in a loose black t-shirt dress that gathered at the waist to give him the impression of hips. It fell to just above his knees and hung about his shoulders in such a way that he could totally have been a flat-chested female. Instead of his hair hung out, it was tied up into a messy but elegant bun; held in place with a black clip, and he was wearing subtle makeup –not to mention black high heels.

"You look stunning," Shikamaru remarked, unable to keep a small snigger from his voice. Neji's eyes glared at him from under mascara and eyeliner, "Hinata, you did a fantastic job."

"You look good yourself," Hinata blushed at the compliment, "Have a good night –I'm sorry you ended up with Neji." Her cousin gave her a scathing look; which she promptly ignored as she headed over to the other three –all who had done their best to _not_ look like themselves. They were spying, after all.

Neji took his seat rather huffily, folding his arms moodily.

"Oh come on," Shikamaru sighed, rolling his eyes. They hadn't spoken since their accidental kiss, and Neji didn't seem to be all that eager to discuss it….or talk to him, for that matter, "Don't you want to see this?"

"If it means being stuck here with you, dressed in drag, then _no thanks_," Neji grumbled, "I only came because my uncle insisted I accompany Hinata."

"In that case, we can just sit here in silence," Shikamaru decided flatly, opening his menu, "Feel free to order anything you like; my treat; since you have to bear my company." Neji licked his lip-glossed lips and grudgingly opened his menu, vowing to order the most expensive things on the menu out of spite.

It was, however, out of the corner of his eye, that he finally gave the other man a quite look over; and was surprised with what he was seeing.

Shikamaru was dressed in a black dress shirt –sleeves rolled up –and his hair was out in a casual, yet –dare he say it –_sexy_ kind of way. He looked…_different._

As though sensing eyes on him, Shikamaru looked up and their gazes locked, Neji immediately finding himself blushing and looking down at the menu again. He missed the smirk on the other man's face.

Of course, it was all the writers of _Word on the Street_ could do when Sasuke and Naruto showed up; completely aghast to discover that they were each other's date. Naruto had for a moment appeared ready to burst out in anger, but something stopped him.

"I…" he tried to say awkwardly, having been the second to arrive; so Sasuke was still sitting, "…I guess I kind of owe you an apology…" Sasuke raised an eyebrow as the blonde took a seat.

"Maybe…I should maybe take this opportunity to apologise for…" He sighed, "Well, for how I've been acting…"

"Are we really going to do this?" Sasuke muttered under his breath, "Continue with this ridiculous 'date'?"

"We should," Naruto admitted reluctantly, "It'd look back to readers if we backed out…and besides –food's paid for…"

"Must you always think with your stomach?" Sasuke snapped crossly, grudgingly picking up his menu, "Let's just get this over with."

" –Do you have to always be such a bastard?" Naruto snorted, "I was trying to apologise!"

"Does it look like I care what you have to say?" he sniffed back; only to look up and find genuinely hurt blue eyes looking back at him a little sadly. He sighed, "…Fine. Go ahead."

"Can we start again?" Naruto inquired, "We are just two co-workers; I'm meeting my new Temp –I mean, my new boss, for the first time."

"Tch. Fine," was Sasuke's response; accompanied by dramatic eye-rolling, to which Naruto immediately brightened.

"Hi, I'm Naruto Uzumaki; I'm the head writer of _Word on the Street_," he introduced with a winning smile, "I hear you're joining the team soon." Sasuke just rolled his eyes, "I should probably give you a heads up on a few things."

"Oh really?" came Sasuke's dry response.

"Well for starters, most of my female co-workers are totally obsessed with you; Karin will _say_ she hates Suigetsu when really she just wants to fuck him," Naruto babbled cheerfully, "Kiba's got a major crush on Hinata but is terrified to say anything; and under no circumstances should you ever hire Shikamaru Nara –Neji can't stand him." This got a small smile from the raven as their waiter came over.

"Explain one thing to me," Sasuke frowned as they placed their orders, "…Hidan and Deidara?" Naruto chortled loudly with a massive grin.

"Oh them," he laughed, "Hidan's totally in love with Dei –completely and hopelessly –for ages now."

"…And he thinks _molesting_ him is the best way to go about getting him?"

"Hidan's not exactly what you'd call 'conventional'," Naruto chuckled, "And besides, we all know Deidara secretly loves it." Sasuke wasn't so willing to believe that. When the photos of their shirtless competition had come out in that week's issue, the main picture had been that of Hidan furiously pashing Deidara with both his hands down the front of the blonde's pants –and Deidara apparently rather enjoying it.

The blonde had been livid. He'd thrown things and threatened to cut off Hidan's balls.

Dinner progressed smoothly. Everyone's meals arrived and the small talk grew a little friendlier.

Well, not between Neji and Shikamaru.

Neji was picking at his food as he kept an eye on Sasuke and Naruto. The two of them actually seemed to be having a good time. Naruto was making wild gestures and laughing loudly –probably telling the story of how Hidan and Suigetsu had posed as male strippers to get a story –he liked telling that to anyone who would listen.

"They seem to be getting on well," he remarked flatly.

" –I thought we were eating dinner in silence," Shikamaru replied with a small smirk. Neji bit his lip crossly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear.

" –It would seem suspicious," Neji explained with a small glare, refusing to look him in the face. He'd found that if he did so, his eyes would wander to those lips and remember the taste of coffee and the slight trace of smoke from their kiss. Shikamaru looked at him strangely, causing their gaze to lock, and Neji felt his ears burning red.

"Well, you certainly look like a nervous girl on a date," he chuckled, "Where's that snotty Hyuuga we all love to hate?" Neji's eyes flashed dangerously and he met his gaze with an even, haughty stare; hating the way those eyes seemed to be staring right through him.

"There's just something I'm wondering," Shikamaru seemed suddenly thoughtful as he took a forkful of his meal and held it out to Neji –obviously offering it to him. Neji stared at it flatly; his eyes saying 'I am _not_ eating that'. Shikamaru just smiled and moved it closer. Neji bit his lip again, and grudgingly opened his mouth to accept it.

"…What are you wearing under that?" Shikamaru added in a sultry whisper, and Neji, with his mouth full of food, immediately blushed and crossed his legs, tugging the dress down as far as he could. Shikamaru just chuckled and teasingly brushed away a smudge of food from the corner of the brunette's lip.

"…Do that again and I swear to god, I will break your arm," Neji growled darkly, his hands clenching around his cutlery at the satisfied smirk on Shikamaru's face. Was it his new goal in life to make him uncomfortable?

Apparently it was, because he _definitely_ felt a foot brushing up against his bare leg under the table. The other man seemed completely oblivious; engrossed in his food but smiling mischievously. Neji could only glare and continue with simple, necessary small talk.

After dinner, Sasuke and Naruto hung around for dessert and drinks, and Shikamaru could sense that Neji's patience was wearing thin. He'd noticed that Naruto and Sasuke's legs were touching under the table and that Sasuke was leaning back nonchalantly, his eyes not quite focused on Naruto's.

"I think we can leave the others to this," Shikamaru commented under his breath and heard a sigh of relief from Neji as they began packing up their things. Shikamaru left the money and tip on the table and nodded at Ino, who was giggling to herself in the kitchen; out of sight of their boss.

Once they were outside; Hinata and Kiba having joined them, Neji abruptly headed off to the nearest public bathroom to change into some more masculine clothes.

"Weren't they cute?" Hinata was giggling to Kiba.

"Who, Sasuke and Naruto?" he raised an eyebrow.

"…Maybe…" she replied slyly, eyeing Shikamaru with a strangely cheeky look. Shikamaru simply looked at her flatly, his eyes giving away nothing.

"Karin and Suigetsu will probably follow them home; give us the scoop tomorrow," Kiba shrugged, stretching with a yawn, "I had a good time with them, right, Hinata?" This time it was Shikamaru's turn to roll his eyes and smirk over to where Hinata was still incredibly oblivious to the fact that Kiba had a crush on her, "Come on Hinata, Neji can meet us at the car."

The two of them had just disappeared around the corner when Neji emerged again, wiping his eyes with a facecloth to get rid of the remainder of his makeup. Shikamaru had to grin when he saw him, leaning up against the wall of the bathroom.

"Say I looked better as a girl and I'll _end _you," Neji threatened darkly, tucking away the cloth into his bag that Hinata had had for the night. Shikamaru just chuckled and looked up at the sky.

"No chance," he replied, throwing the brunette a sidelong glance, "I like you _much_ better this way." His voice had dropped to a husky low, and it made Neji shiver and step back slightly before immediately rounding on Shikamaru; eyes flashing.

"You can't just say things like that!" he snapped aggressively, "Why do you always have to be like that?" Shikamaru just ran a hand through his hair and sighed heavily.

"Why do you always have to be like _this_?" he growled back, rolling his eyes in exasperation.

"Like _what_?" he sniffed.

" –Pretending to hate everything I do; everything I say," he grumbled.

"…Because you're lazy, arrogant, unmotivated…"

"And undeniably sexy?" Shikamaru offered with a smirk, to which Neji just stared at him with his mouth hanging open, "Oh come on, Neji –admit it; the real reason you've hated me since we were in high school is because you were attracted to me and didn't know how to deal with it."

" –You're an arrogant asshole, you know that?" Neji snapped suddenly, "Not everyone thinks you're hot stuff!"

"But you do," Shikamaru grinned, taking a step forward and looking down on the elder male slyly, "Admit it Neji; you want me bad; and always have." Then, without warning, he stooped and pressed a hard, demanding, brief kiss against the Hyuuga's lips. Neji was frozen like a deer in headlights for a moment before he stepped back, pushing Shikamaru away from him.

"You're an asshole," he snarled, "Keep the fuck away from me." And on that note, he turned heel and stalked off in the direction of Kiba and Hinata. He fumed silently to himself, refusing to acknowledge that he was blushing and his lips were tingling and his body was feeling just a little too warm.

_Damn that Shikamaru!_

Shikamaru just chuckled to himself, tucking his hands into his pockets and heading for his car. Well, that had gotten a definite rise out of Neji…maybe even a physical one…

Oh how that sexy Hyuuga was in denial.

* * *

Naruto couldn't believe it.

He'd actually had a fun night.

Once Sasuke kind of got over himself, he was actually kind of fun to be around. They'd talked –sort of; well, Naruto had done most of the talking and Sasuke had nodded or added a 'hn' when appropriate. They'd had a brief wine-drinking contest and talked about their coursework and high school… It had been nice.

And now, Sasuke was walking him home.

Was it really a date? To be fair, they both still had to do a write-up about their night for publication…

"Don't try so hard," Sasuke smirked, noticing Naruto's brow furrowed in exaggerated thought.

"Shut up, bastard!" the blonde snapped back irritably, folding his arms and opening the gate to his front yard. His expression softened, "…This is my place." Sasuke nodded, and they stood in silence for a moment.

"I…I had a good time," Naruto remarked awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head, "Maybe we could you know…be friends, or something?"

_Or something…_

Sasuke looked over the man standing in front of him and nodded shortly. Then, he saw those blue eyes looking up at him, and saw that Naruto was fiddling with the latch of the gate. No…he couldn't be…He began to lean forwards slightly, and then caught himself at the last second.

"…Good night," he muttered, averting his eyes and straightening up.

"Yeah; night," Naruto couldn't keep the disappointment from his voice, though Sasuke didn't even really hear it. The raven just nodded shortly and started heading off down the street, leaving Naruto frowning in frustration.

This was getting unbearable. It had been so hard for him that evening –every time he was close to Sasuke he had to resist the urge to jump on top of the other man and grind him until the raven begged to take him. He couldn't deny that he was incredibly attracted to him, and secretly enjoyed their little fights where he got to be up close to Sasuke. Maybe that was why he started arguments so often; he just wanted that sexy, toned body up against his -no matter how it happened.

And after tonight he had to admit that it wasn't just a physical thing. He'd enjoyed his time with Sasuke! And god damn it, he might've even gotten away with a good night kiss! Had Sasuke been just about to give him one? Cursing inwardly in frustration, he turned and headed for his house.

Meanwhile, Sasuke had used Naruto's moment of oblivious inner turmoil to turn and look back over his shoulder, having a clear line of sight to the blonde's ass in the streetlight. A string of less-than-pg thoughts ran through his mind. He shivered and cursed himself.

_Dammit why had he given Naruto his jacket?_

Naruto, in his house, and just realised that he had Sasuke's jacket around his shoulders. On a strange impulse, he lifted a collar and sniffed at it tentatively. It smelt like Sasuke, and as he breathed in that delicious scent, he found himself growing strangely aroused.

He groaned in exasperation and threw the jacket away, rubbing his head in frustration. No! This was not happening!

And then, after a brief sigh and a mental argument, he retrieved the jacket and headed up to his room. If he couldn't have that goodnight kiss at least, he was going to use his imagination.

* * *

**Naughty Naruto! Having bad thoughts about Sasuke! What would Sasuke think?  
Well... it seems like maybe he wouldn't mind so much...**


	6. Chapter 6

**Bit of a wee lemon ahead; you've been warned, folks! We're on the home stretch now; only a few chapters to go!**

* * *

****"Well folks, it doesn't take a *bleep* genius to notice that things down at _Word on the Street_ are a bit *bleep* tense right now…"

"Even Hidan noticed," Sasori remarked in his normal flat tone.

"You're a *bleeeeep*!" Hidan snapped aggressively.

"So, what's happened, yeah?" Deidara inquired curiously, looking through the glass and raising an eyebrow inquisitively, noticing that the office seemed to be rather strangely quiet. Kisame was there having something signed for by Itachi, but that seemed to be the only movement. Naruto was looking uncharacteristically subdued and Sasuke was looking rather irritated.

"Well, as most readers will know, the Temp and Naruto were tricked into going on the blind date this past Thursday night," Sasori explained, sounding rather bored, "And Naruto had the balls to actually write nice things about Sasuke."

" –I think he called him a *bleep* gentleman," Hidan commented, "Might've even said something a bit cheesier…"

"Sasuke wasn't pleased, yeah," Deidara admitted, "He's looking pretty *bleep* pissed right now. The sexual tension is cutting the air, yeah!" Two middle fingers were raised up at him, "Oh, *bleep*, totally forgot they're listening…"

"I think Naruto's offended that Sasuke didn't like what he wrote," Sasori sighed, "Which is stupid. Did he really want him to write about what a dick he actually is? He should be glad of the good publicity."

"This is Sasuke *bleep* Uchiha; since when is he *bleep* grateful for anything?" Hidan snorted, "But yeah; he shouldn't be *bleep* packing a sad about being complimented. He could've been a bit nicer about his *bleep* review of their little date."

"He doesn't even have anything to complain about, yeah," Deidara muttered mutinously, "He didn't even get molested."

" –Oh come on Deidara, that was one time; let it go," Sasori sighed.

"Six times, Sasori! I have been forced into that blind date thing six times, and I get groped every single time, yeah!" Deidara snapped crossly.

"That's just coz you're a *bleep* slut, Dei," Hidan chuckled.

"You're a sexually frustrated _moron_!" the blonde snarled back.

" –What you think, Sasori? Think he'll be *bleep* talking back with my cock in his mouth?" Hidan snorted.

"If you're overcompensating as much as Deidara often seems to think you are, I think he'd still be plenty capable of holding a conversation," came Sasori's cool response. There was silence as Hidan mulled over the insult and then made a highly aggravated noise as Deidara snickered.

"…The *bleep* point is that things are pretty *bleep* tense in the next room over," Hidan muttered, not having anything to say in response to Sasori's jibe, "I mean, Naruto's not even hitting on anyone! And seriously, what the *bleep* is Kisame delivering these days? He's always *bleep* over there!" Kisame heard his name and smirked, holding a thumbs up to the DJs.

"Yo, good to see you, man," Hidan greeted as a shout-out with a grin.

Shikamaru of course, had been listening quite intently to the conversation –Hidan, Sasori and Deidara were always good value and knew how to fill the often awkward, tense silences that had become a regular occurrence in days of late.

It was partly due to the fact that Naruto and Sasuke had been avoiding each other. It was subtle, but at the same time obvious. They hadn't been fighting. They'd barely been interacting. When they had to deal with each other, it was in short sentences and without eye contact, and definitely at arm's length.

But of course, the sexual tension had escalated; which in turn made everything so much more awkward –mostly because everyone was aware of it; despite the fact that Sasuke and Naruto weren't admitting it. Kiba and Naruto had had a shirtless wrestling match a day or two earlier, and Sasuke hadn't been able to tear his eyes away. Everyone except apparently the other could see the thinly veiled desire hidden in those eyes.

It was driving everyone insane.

Obviously, Naruto had written in his review that he'd had a good time, and it seemed as though Sasuke was incredibly loath to admit the same. God they were being pathetic.

And then what Hidan had just said, suddenly caused Shikamaru to become suspicious. He looked over to where Itachi was signing for something from Kisame. Since when had they been receiving letters from the editor almost daily; sometimes twice?

"Hey Kisame?" Shikamaru inquired with a raised eyebrow when Itachi had disappeared back into his office, "What'd you just deliver to Itachi? Didn't look like letters to the editor?"

"No clue," Kisame shrugged, "He's just been getting a hell of a lot of packages recently." And on that note, he saluted with a toothy grin and headed for the door. Shikamaru smirked.

"What's that look for, Shikamaru?" Naruto inquired curiously.

"Sasuke? How long has Itachi been dressing strange?"

"I don't know; nearly two months?" Sasuke frowned.

" –And how long has Kisame been working here for?" he remarked with a raised eyebrow.

"Two months? What, Shikamaru?"

" –Well…like Hidan said; Itachi's been getting an awful lot of packages recently, right?" he commented casually.

"Yeah?" both Naruto and Sasuke frowned, before glancing at each other and looking away.

"Let's just say; I think it's _Kisame's_ package that Itachi's really after," he smirked. Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and stared incredulously; puzzle pieces falling into place in their minds.

"Oh god, that makes perfect sense!" Naruto exclaimed, leaping up with a whoop; immediately back to his old self.

"What do you guys think? Gay or straight?" Shikamaru inquired as all sets of eyes watched Kisame from out through the window. Naruto let out a low whistle.

"My bet's on gay," he guessed, "He doesn't even _glance_ at Hinata's boobs!"

"Watch it, Naruto," Neji growled darkly as Hinata flushed beet red.

" –Sorry Hinata," he apologised, "But it's true; right Ino?"

"Yeah –hasn't even hit on me once," Ino sighed sadly.

"Do you think he'd go for someone like Itachi?" Suigetsu inquired curiously, leaning on the door as Deidara and Hidan entered the office for a break.

"Who's going for Itachi?" Deidara inquired curiously.

"Kisame," Suigetsu explained.

"Oh fuck yeah," Hidan smirked, "Itachi's a bottom if I ever saw one; probably the reason he hasn't fucked you yet, Dei." Deidara glared up at him aggressively, "Chill out blondie. Fucking Kisame; if he's gay he'd be fucking Itachi so fucking hard -"

"You're a fucking pig, yeah," Deidara snapped. Hidan just slapped his ass with a wink.

"So Itachi wants Kisame's cock…" Suigetsu chuckled, "Jeez. How do you feel about that, Sasuke?"

"My brother's business is his own business," came the snooty response. The whole room burst out laughing.

"You let us run the story," Naruto teased, awkwardness now slightly dissipating, "Admit it, Temp; you enjoyed it." Sasuke just scowled and folded his arms.

"Well, in any case, we're not done yet," he sniffed, "Shikamaru; Neji; you two will start drafting for the next article on this; and plan a way to get Kisame in on this –I want Itachi nice and embarrassed for forcing me to interact with you losers."

Everyone laughed –whether or not Sasuke meant it as an insult, it wasn't taken that way. They hadn't had a Temp that had lasted as long as him, and though no one would admit it; they sort of liked him.

Just a little.

" –Sasuke, I'm not working with him!" Neji snapped aggressively, getting to his feet; ready for a confrontation. Sasuke just surveyed him with a cool glare.

"Neji; the two of you work very well together –you'll be working on this assignment and I expect it to be completed by tomorrow," he replied in a flat, final voice. Neji's eyes flashed darkly before he straightened up, throwing Shikamaru a withering glare.

"Fine. Have it your way," he snapped aggressively, picking up his bag and beginning to stalk out.

As he did so, however, he swerved past Naruto; oh-so-subtly bumping into the clown, who had been balancing on one leg, leaning against a desk. The result was that Naruto teetered off balance; hanging in mid-air for a moment, before tumbling forward…

…And his face landing directly in Sasuke's lap.

The room was silent for a moment, as both Naruto and Sasuke remained paralysed in mortification; Naruto able to feel the definite line of Sasuke's cock against his cheek and feeling his own cock twitch in anticipation. Immediately, Sasuke grabbed Naruto's hair and wrenched him backwards. The action was just a little too erotic for the blonde, who felt a small moan brewing in the back of his throat but was able to keep it down.

The room erupted into laughter, and Neji smirked, sticking his nose in the air superiorly and stalking out of the room. Naruto leapt back as if stung, and escaped off to the bathroom amid chuckles and catcalls. Sasuke snapped at his underlings, feeling a small blush rise in his cheeks and something else rising in his pants.

If only that bloody blonde hadn't looked up at him from his crotch like that! Now all he could think of was Naruto looking up at him with his lips wrapped around his cock!

* * *

Neji was unimpressed that Sasuke had made him work with Shikamaru again, but maybe it had been a little bit worth it to see his horrified face with Naruto's face in his crotch. That had really gone much better than expected.

And now here he was, waiting in Shikamaru's living room; his parents having said he was just in the shower and would be out soon; and to work hard while they were out at a dinner party.

He checked the clock. It was nearly nine. Damn Shikamaru and his inability to have anything done on time.

About ten minutes later, he was greeted by a, "Come down the hall, I'm in my room!" so he was forced to leave his spot on the couch and seek out Shikamaru's room.

As soon as he entered, his jaw dropped automatically.

Shikamaru had obviously _just_ gotten out of the shower. He was still buttoning his pants and he was shirtless and still a little damp. His hair was still in its ponytail, but his strong chest was dripping with water still and the sight made Neji's mouth run dry.

"See something you like, Hyuuga?" Shikamaru smirked, flinging his towel over to one corner and heading over to his desk. Neji watched him, unable to comprehend how sexy Shikamaru looked. "What? Not even going to deny it this time?"

"I uhh…We have to get this assignment done for Sasuke," Neji managed to snap out.

"Already done," Shikamaru smirked lazily, turning to face him, "Did it after you stormed out of the office."

"Then what am I still doing here?" Neji growled.

"…You tell me," the other man grinned predatorily, taking a step forward. Neji, immediately realising the trap he'd fallen into, spun to exit the room, only to find himself held back by strong hands clutching low on his hips. Instantly, he looked back over his shoulder with fierce eyes, only to fine Shikamaru's face incredibly close to his.

"Admit it," he whispered, trailing his lips gently against Neji's pale neck, "…You want me. You've always wanted me…"

"No…" Neji managed to breathe out; his voice hitching from the feeling of warm lips against his sensitive skin. Shikamaru chuckled throatily, his teeth nibbling at the skin beneath his ear.

"…How long have you been in denial, Neji?" Shikamaru's voice was husky and lustful as one of his hands ran up and under Neji's shirt; caressing the skin of his stomach. Neji, frozen in both shock and strange pleasure, shivered. He found himself unable to react as he felt Shikamaru's hips press against him, and a tongue run slyly along the seam of his lips. Electricity ran through his body.

"Kiss me a little," Shikamaru demanded softly, "…You might find you like it."

And strangely enough, this time, curiosity got the better of Neji, and he obeyed.

Shikamaru kissed him again; a little harder this time; his lips forceful yet languid, and Neji slowly began to respond; unused to kissing a male. He moaned as Shikamaru's tongue pried his lips apart and delved deep into his mouth, twisting their heads to deepen the kiss.

Neji was spun around and his body pressed flush against Shikamaru's; warm hands trailing up his back, kneading him forward. Growing bolder, he reached up and wrapped his arms around the other man's neck, fiercely demanding control. Chuckling, Shikamaru slowly began to undo Neji's shirt, leading him towards his bed with teasing kisses as he did so.

When they reached the bed, Neji aggressively pushed Shikamaru down onto it and straddled him, hands clenching at the covers as he forced his tongue into Shikamaru's mouth in an attempt to assert his dominance. All that ended up happening was Shikamaru thrusting upwards sharply; eliciting a low moan from Neji as he ground his hips down; craving friction. Already he could feel himself growing hard; and if what he was feeling against his ass was any indication, Shikamaru was feeling much the same.

A low moan escaped Neji's throat and his breath hitched as Shikamaru palmed his growing erection through his pants –which suddenly seemed a little too tight. Instinctively, he ground his hips back down; causing Shikamaru's eyes to close in pleasure. Neji smirked, running his hands down the other man's chest, feeling every inch of rippling muscle beneath his fingers. Nervously, thumbs hooked into Shikamaru's pants; obviously tentative.

Suddenly, Shikamaru flipped the two of them with a smirk, his hands and lips trailing down Neji's chest. Their eyes met; mirroring the barely veiled lust that had been hidden until now. The brunette's eyes rolled back slightly as he felt Shikamaru's hands deftly unbutton his pants and drag them off, leaving him lying completely naked on the bed. Before he had time to protest about his state of undress, Shikamaru pressed hands to Neji's hips and engulfed the brunette's erection in his mouth.

Neji groaned, hips longing to buck up into the hot cavern of Shikamaru's mouth but unable to do so. While he was distracted by a tongue running seductively along his shaft and wrapping itself around the head of his member, Shikamaru managed to slick up two of his fingers and push the first into his entrance.

"What –" Neji managed to moan before he started pumping the digit in and out; curling and uncurling to stretch him.

"Just relax," Shikamaru murmured, forcing in another finger and feeling the wince of pain, "…Neji…are you okay?"

"I'm…fine," he huffed in response, panting a little and then moaning and his body bucking as Shikamaru's fingers touched something inside him that sent waves of pleasure shooting through his system.

"I mean…with this…" Shikamaru pushed his fingers in again; hard against Neji's prostate, making him squirm in pleasure.

" –Y-yes," he managed to pant out, clutching at the sheets as those penetrating digits forced themselves deeper and he automatically ground back against them; wanting more. Shikamaru scissored his fingers several times and withdrew them, leaning back up to kiss Neji again as the brunette's hands wandered south, growing bolder and reaching into Shikamaru's pants to grasp at the throbbing erection within. Shikamaru exhaled forcefully, thrusting shallowly into his hand –getting Neji used to the feeling. It didn't take long for the Hyuuga to grow bold and smirk as he slowly watched Shikamaru lose control.

"You're sure?" he murmured softly, pulling Neji's hand from his pants and grinding their erections together –his clothed, "Not long ago you were denying being attracted to me." Neji immediately responded with such a withering glare that Shikamaru smirked and flipped him over so that he was bent over the side of the bed. Quickly, he removed his own pants and then caught Neji's hips as the brunette turned around to protest.

"You are _not_ bending me over like a whore!" Neji snarled aggressively, only to be silenced by Shikamaru's open mouthed kiss against his protests and the feeling of something solid against his ass.

"I beg to differ," Shikamaru murmured, slicking up his cock with lube and pressing the head against Neji's entrance. All of Neji's arguments were almost immediately swallowed by a gasp of pain as he began to enter him, "Relax…" he crooned, trailing soft fingers down Neji's abdomen and appreciating the defined muscle beneath.

With a final, sharp thrust and a low moan from Neji, Shikamaru breathed in heavily; completely sheathed inside the Hyuuga. With slow, deliberate ease, he began thrusting shallowly, seeking to make it a little less painful. Neji instantly looked back over his shoulder, eyes flashing with a 'what the _fuck_ do you think you're doing' expression. Smirking, Shikamaru took Neji's hips in his hands and upped his pace.

It didn't take him long to have Neji moaning like the whore he said he wasn't, his mouth open and gasping and his eyes closed as he threw his head back. Shikamaru was biting his lip in concentration and pleasure as he felt Neji's inner walls clench around him over and over –pulling hips back against his to force himself deeper. Neji's shoulder muscles were rippling with the effort to keep himself upright.

His thrusting pace was growing frenzied and spasmodic as he drove into Neji even harder; pushing his head down into the bed to get a better angle; abusing his prostate with every thrust. The heat around him felt incredible, and he gripped tight against those lithe hips; kissing the back of Neji's neck and sucking hard at his skin.

Everything from Neji's mouth was disjointed and throaty; unable to voice anything coherent due to the overwhelming pleasure and the feeling of something so thick and hot filling him –causing so much pleasurable friction.

Suddenly, Shikamaru increased his pace again; reaching around to wrap a hand around Neji's cock and pumping it in time to his thrusts.

"Nnng…_Shikamaru_," Neji managed to moan out; unable to deal with the sensations of both Shikamaru wrapped around him and inside him. He felt the pleasure intensifying and all of a sudden, as his prostate was hit again, he saw white and came with a moan; throwing his head back in ecstasy.

Shikamaru, unable to stave off his orgasm as Neji's walls clenched unbearably tightly around him, thrust against his ass a final time before cumming deep into him.

For a moment, there was silence save for the sound of panting. Neji's feet collapsed, and Shikamaru managed to catch him, watching in satisfaction as he saw the brunette's face sweaty and flushed; eyes glazed over distantly.

With a small grin, Shikamaru kissed Neji's swollen lips and pulled him up onto the bed, throwing the sheets over him and admiring his tired, naked form. Sated, he lay down beside the other man; loving the way that Neji automatically curled up against him; their sweaty, lusty bodies rubbing together. Neji's Hyuuga eyes were still dazed from his orgasm and Shikamaru knew he wasn't really in his right mind when he next spoke.

"…That…was fantastic…" he managed to breathe out. Shikamaru smirked.

He might not've been thinking straight…but Shikamaru knew that Neji sure as hell wasn't ever going to be thinking _straight_ ever again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Oh gosh, sorry it's such a long one! Lemons ahead! Hope you've been enjoying; don't forget to review :)**

* * *

****When Neji woke up, he didn't open his eyes immediately. He just lay there, enjoying how warm he was. God he'd had a good sleep, but his limbs felt so tired…

Then he heard the sounds of light breathing.

Instantly, his eyes snapped open to find himself looking down a toned chest towards a white sheet that was haphazardly draped about a lithe, slim waist. Memories flooded back to him in a torrent and he bolted upright, clutching the sheets around himself.

"Oh fucking hell," he breathed as Shikamaru stirred; opening one eye lazily at the sudden movement and absence of weight on his chest.

"Morning," he yawned sleepily, rubbing his eyes and sitting up as Neji scuttled backwards and landed on his ass on the bed; pain immediately shooting up his spine. He groaned in pain, clutching at his lower back as Shikamaru smirked, very obviously running eyes over the very obviously naked Hyuuga.

"What –_stop looking at me like that_!" Neji snapped irritably, spying his clothes over on the other side of the room.

"Like what?" Shikamaru smirked, leaning forward predatorily and forcing Neji to back away as he slunk closer. Lips connected with Neji's throat and he unwillingly let out a small whimper as Shikamaru sucked eagerly at his pulse, a hand running up Neji's bare thigh.

"G-Get off me," Neji hissed breathily, trying to deny to himself how much he was actually enjoying having those hands on him again –how much he had enjoyed last night. Shikamaru brushed Neji's terribly messy hair off his face and then backed away with a small smirk, leaving Neji on his ass, completely naked and obviously slightly aroused.

"Playing hard to get still, even after last night?" Shikamaru sighed, rolling his eyes and getting to his feet to find some clothes. Neji took the moment his back was turned to limp across the room to clothes. He bent over to pick them up, and then turned around to find Shikamaru unashamedly looking appreciatively at his backside.

"Quit that!" Neji snapped aggressively, holding his clothes over his crotch for modesty's sake.

"What? It's not like I haven't seen you naked," Shikamaru reminded him, "And from memory…you quite enjoyed it…" He breathily called his own name in mockery of how Neji had panted it out, causing the Hyuuga to flush as he hurriedly pulled on his pants.

" –It was nothing," he snapped crossly, "_That_ should've never happened! Never!"

"Why not?" Shikamaru queried, casually pulling on some clothes, "I like you; you obviously like me…"

"I do not _like_ you," Neji growled, "I hate you. I've always hated you!"

"You don't let people you hate fuck you," Shikamaru remarked with a small smirk, "And you especially don't let them take your ass virginity…"

" –This…it was nothing –it _meant_ nothing –it _means_ nothing," Neji snapped, flinging on his shirt and checking his appearance in the mirror. Fuck, was that a hickey? "_This never happened_."

"I think it did," Shikamaru smirked, "You're fucking limping, Hyuuga." Neji hated the fact that he had to prove him right by limping fiercely to the door, pain with each step. He stumbled by the door and Shikamaru caught him in his strong arms –much to Neji's annoyance. He flushed and pushed him away.

"I don't need your help!" he growled, "I…I never wanted this! Goddamn you Shikamaru!"

"You definitely wanted this," he sighed, running lips along Neji's neck again and sucking at the spot where a hickey was beginning to form, "Still in denial, Neji? You really are being very difficult." Neji pushed him away, ignoring his wandering hands.

"Keep away from me," he growled aggressively, picking up his shoes, "Whatever happened last night –just forget about it. I –I just wasn't thinking right…I…I do _not_ like you; you hear me? This was nothing; is that clear?"

"Crystal," Shikamaru sighed as the Hyuuga stormed off down the hallway and out the front door, probably getting amused looks from his parents. He rolled his eyes and ran a hand through his messy hair. He'd finally gotten Neji Hyuuga into bed with him after wanting him for years and knowing that the elder boy (deep down) privately reciprocated; only to have him continue to deny the obvious chemistry between the two of them…

"Troublesome."

* * *

Ino was busy admiring herself in the mirror when Sasuke came into work that day.

"Hey Sasuke!" Naruto crowed with a smirk from where he appeared to be assaulting Neji, "Neji's got a hickey!"

"Unhand me!" Neji snapped crossly, his throat bare for the world to see.

"Quit harassing your co-worker, you idiot," Sasuke snapped, not having time for Naruto's ridiculous antics today. Neji delivered a swift elbow to Naruto's gut and the blonde doubled over in pain –much to Sasuke's satisfaction.

He discovered Ino primping in one of the windows.

"You really think this is going to work?" he muttered, rolling his eyes.

"Of course," she sniffed, adjusting her cleavage for maximum view, "Trust me, Sasuke; this is not the first time we've tried to figure out someone's sexuality."

That was not overly reassuring.

"Why are we setting up _Kisame_ with Itachi?" Naruto complained good naturedly as he recovered from Neji's attack, "I mean come on! The man's a sexy beast! Why can't _I_ have him?" Sasuke felt a strange twinge of jealousy at these words and scowled darkly.

"Like I would ever let an idiot like you get with my brother," he snapped irritably; annoyed with himself for his childish reaction.

"Oh but he's _gorgeous_," Naruto had put on an over-the-top flamboyant voice and was making swooning gestures in mockery of the girls and how they acted around Sasuke, "And how could anyone resist a hunk like me?"

" –Well there's your obnoxious, loud-mouth, idiotic, pain-in-the-ass personality for starters," Sasuke reminded him coldly, rolling his eyes as the blonde stuck his tongue out childishly, "I rest my case."

"Quick, Ino! Kisame's coming!" Suigetsu hissed from the front door, automatically leaning nonchalantly against the water cooler as Kisame knocked on the door several times before entering the office.

"Morning, Suigetsu?" Kisame seemed instantly suspicious at the lack of rowdiness present in the room, "Hyuuga; nice hickey…"

"The next person to mention it is going to need an ambulance," Neji threatened coldly; altogether incredibly thankful that Shikamaru hadn't come in to work just yet –but had informed the team of his plan to get the better of Itachi.

"Well to be fair, it was about time you got a bit of loving," Kiba teased with a wicked grin, "…Any particular reason you're looking so uncomfortable with sitting today?"

"I slept badly," Neji's haughty reply snapped back as Kisame chuckled; only to find himself face to face with a pretty, blonde, busty girl.

"Morning, Ino?" he greeted with a raised eyebrow as she very obviously looked him up and down and blushed slightly.

"Um, Kisame…" she mumbled, "I was just wondering…" She looked at the floor and then back up at him, "…If you would maybe think about maybe going to dinner with me sometime?" Kisame just stared at her in confusion.

"Is this some sort of trick?" he frowned, raising an eyebrow. Ino put on her best innocent face, "Sorry; you're a sweet girl and everything, but you're not quite my type?"

" –Oh…" Ino's face fell, "…Who's your type then?" Apparently he missed the mischievous tone in her voice.

"Not into blondes, sorry," Kisame chuckled with a shrug.

"What about me then?" Karin instantly appeared at his other side, hand latching onto his enormous bicep, "I'm not a blonde –and I am totally much more fun than Ino, anyways."

"Or me?" Sakura added, grabbing his other arm and forcing Kisame to look a whole lot more confused than ever, "Oh come on, Kisame –you're hot; you've got to know that, right?" Kisame just chuckled to himself.

"Ladies, I'm flattered; but I'm not interested," he admitted with a small shrug, "You're lovely and all; but not quite what I'm looking for…"

"What about me?" Hidan had appeared slyly behind Kisame, draping an arm around his shoulder and speaking directly into his ear.

"Sorry, but I don't bottom," Kisame smirked, finally catching on to what on earth the crazy writers were up to.

"Me neither, brother!" Hidan whooped as the girls all backed off and high-fived each other as Hidan raised Kisame's hand in the air triumphantly, "It's all good; Itachi totally does."

"…If you wanted to know if I was gay, all you had to do was ask…" Kisame remarked with a grin and a shrug.

" –Yeah, well we like to do things a little differently around here," Naruto grinned, "Hidan! Go back to the studio!" He jabbed a finger over at the booth, where Deidara had his middle fingers trained on Hidan. "Deidara looks like he misses you."

"Fucking one day he'll love me," Hidan swore with a wink over at the long-haired blonde, "Or one day he'll fucking admit that he does..."

"Anyone want to tell me what's going on?" Kisame inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"Any chance you're into super intelligent, super fit ravens with pale skin and luscious long hair?" Naruto inquired cheekily. Kisame smirked.

"Maybe," he replied with a straight face, "Why?"

"Well, we have it on _relatively_ good speculation that there's a certain –"

"*cough* Itachi Uchiha *cough*" Kiba interrupted.

" –That appears to have a bit of a crush on you," Naruto explained gleefully.

"Itachi Uchiha? Having a crush on me? I doubt it," Kisame snorted, "I'm just the fucking delivery guy."

"A _hunky_ delivery guy," Ino reminded him, "Once you get past the whole _blue_ thing…"

"What do you think?" Naruto grinned cheekily, "Wanna fuck the other Uchiha?"

"Refrain from saying such things about my brother," Sasuke growled flatly, much to everyone's amusement.

"I wouldn't be _opposed_," Kisame remarked, acting all aloof but grinning; to which the girls all squealed about.

"You like him too!" Sakura yelped in delight, "Oh this is so cute! We have _got_ to set you up!"

" –But in a way that embarrasses Itachi," Suigetsu reminded her.

"Of course," Kisame chuckled, "I wouldn't expect any less from the writers of _Word on the Street_."

" –Get brainstorming," Sasuke growled as Kisame handed over something to him. It was the most recent issue of _Word on the Street_.

"I suggest you read page eleven," he remarked with a raised eyebrow, "And sign for this package."

When Sasuke had finished reading, he was livid, but let nothing show this except a small twitch in his eyebrow.

"We need to talk," Sasuke growled, grabbing Naruto by the elbow and dragging him towards the bathrooms, obvious anger in his eyes and his stance. Naruto's face betrayed no remorse for whatever he'd done, and the rest of the team instantly leapt for the nearest copy of the issue.

As the door swung shut and locked, Suigetsu smirked and cheekily placed the 'Out of Order' sign just outside the bathroom with a knowing look.

"What is this?" Sasuke snapped, swatting Naruto's chest with the rolled up magazine, "'The secret life of Sasuke Uchiha'?"

"The people want to know their Uchihas," Naruto shrugged, folding his arms defiantly.

"You had no right to go into my background and expose all of this to the public eye!" he snapped.

"Of course I did," Naruto sniffed, "We're journalists. We don't follow rules of privacy, and you might have noticed in your time here! And besides; I thought that if you didn't like me writing _nice_ things about you; I should try something different."

"You are _such_ an idiot!" Sasuke growled, advancing on him, "Ever thought that maybe I just don't want my private life known by the entire student population of Konoha?"

"It's happened to _all_ of us," Naruto snapped, "And it's why our Temps always quit. They can't handle how we do things; they can't handle being in the spotlight. You're no exception." Sasuke fumed for a moment.

" –You brought up my childhood; my parents…" he snarled, "You made bold, unfounded claims –"

" –I wouldn't say calling you a narcissistic bastard with a superiority complex is unfounded," he rolled his eyes, "And in any case, the reason you're overreacting is because I am completely _right_!"

"You are not."

"Oh really?" Naruto sniffed, "You have issues with those who are _better_ than you because Itachi always was and you were never appreciated as much by your father –"

"This has nothing to do with Itachi _or_ my father!"

"It has so much to do with them," he exclaimed crossly, "You don't let yourself have friends because you think they're going to distract you from whatever crazy path you think you have to lead; Sasuke, you're cold to everyone around you because you think that everyone around you is out for your status or your money or everything that comes with the Uchiha name –" All of a sudden, Naruto found himself pinned up against the wall by an arm against his throat.

"But that's not me, Sasuke," Naruto assured him, his eyes suddenly becoming gentle, "That's not any of us –well, except maybe the girls; but you're gay so it doesn't even matter."

" –Stop saying that!" Sasuke snapped, "You don't know me!"

"I do know you," he grinned, "And I know that you think I am incredibly attractive and want me _so_ bad…" Sasuke froze; his eyes widening in astonishment before he could hide his shock. How did Naruto know? He thought he'd been so careful.

Naruto's mouth fell open as he watched Sasuke's eyes bulge in horror at being discovered.

"Jeez; I did _not_ know I was right," he remarked in interest, grinning mischievously and slipping from Sasuke's grasp, stepping right into his personal space.

"I –I don't know what you're talking about," Sasuke snapped, his tone definitely guilty.

"I might not be out to get you for your wealth…" Naruto purred, walking forwards until Sasuke had his back against the other wall, "…But I sure as hell am because you're fucking sexy…" He placed both his hands to either side of Sasuke's head and their gazes locked intensely; onyx against cerulean. Their bodies were so close they were _almost_ touching and their slow, even breathing was heavy.

Sasuke felt his body growing warm from Naruto's proximity but didn't look away. Their glares were so intense that Naruto's hands had curled into fists. It was impossible for either of them to deny the fact that they were both intensely attracted to each other.

"Fuck it," Naruto commented, before slamming his lips up against Sasuke's, hands entwining into soft, raven locks as he immediately thrust his tongue through pale lips.

Instantly, Sasuke responded, forcing Naruto's tongue back into his own mouth to assert who was dominant here. He spun them and slammed Naruto up against the wall; pressing their bodies flush together and eliciting an already needy moan from the blonde.

Lips clashed furiously as they ravaged each other's mouth, Naruto's hands fisting Sasuke's hair as he moaned against the onslaught of frenzied kisses. The raven pressed a knee between Naruto's legs and the blonde willingly ground down against it; hard. Sasuke's hands slunk around to grab at the blonde's ass; forcing him against his body and his knee even harder. He could feel himself –and Naruto, quickly becoming aroused.

Shirts went flying as they reeled across the room, desperate to grope every part of bare skin. Sasuke's lips were latched to Naruto's neck; sucking harshly and eliciting all kinds of breathy moans from the blonde. A tanned hand slipped into the waistband of Sasuke's pants and gripped his hardening cock; expertly stroking it to full hardness whilst enjoying the raven's thrusts against him. Sasuke moaned quietly; a low, throaty sound that Naruto instantly knew he wanted to hear more of.

Swiftly, he unbuttoned Sasuke's pants and dropped them to the floor, leaving the raven completely naked with a raging erection that Naruto was still pumping with his fist. It didn't take long for Naruto's pants to follow, and he was immediately spun to face the sink; Sasuke behind him and smirking predatorily in the mirror.

"Hey –no fair!" Naruto growled under his breath, "I came onto you; I should get to top!"

"Not happening," Sasuke growled, kissing the back of his neck and sucking on three of his fingers, grabbing Naruto's cock with his free hand. As he pushed two fingers inside Naruto's entrance at once, the blonde bucked a little, flinching and looking away from his reflection in slight embarrassment as his breathing became laboured.

"Moan for me," Sasuke murmured in a low purr as he began pumping his fingers in and out of Naruto's tight entrance; stretching him.

"Who knew? Sasuke Uchiha's a pervert," Naruto growled, closing his eyes and unable to suppress a moan as Sasuke's fingers curled up against his prostate, "Oh god, do that again…" In response, Sasuke slammed his fingers _hard_ in the same spot and caused him to automatically grind back down on them whilst letting out a very loud; _very_ aroused cry.

Sasuke added a third digit and began stretching Naruto even further whilst stroking his hard length. The blonde was gripping the edge of the sink tightly, and onyx eyes could help but stare in the mirror at Naruto's flushed, panting reflection.

"W-Would you q-quit staring and h-hurry up?" Naruto gasped, pushing back down against Sasuke's fingers, feeling pleasure starting to build up inside him. Sasuke just smirked, obligingly removing his digits, leaving Naruto feeling incredibly empty.

Quickly, he turned and fell to his knees at Sasuke's feet, immediately taking his huge cock into his mouth and sucking hard. Sasuke immediately moaned and clutched at Naruto's hair, looking down to see cerulean eyes gleaming up at him lustfully, tongue wrapped around his cock; coating it in saliva.

Making sure Naruto wasn't getting too cocky, Sasuke thrust shallowly into his mouth a few times, satisfied when he heard a low moan.

All of a sudden, Naruto found himself on his back with Sasuke leaning over him; settled between his legs. Their lips met again for a frenzied, passionate kiss as the raven began to push his cock into Naruto's entrance.

Naruto moaned, clawing at Sasuke's back as he felt the huge intrusion penetrating him.

"Fuck me hard," he begged, his back arching as Sasuke fully sheathed himself inside him.

"Aren't you a little whore," Sasuke smirked, thrusting once; hard, right against Naruto's prostate and causing him to start moaning breathily again.

"Get on with it or so help me god, I am topping," Naruto snarled. Sasuke smirked at the blonde's impatience, but obliged; immediately beginning to thrust hard and rough into his tight hole.

Naruto thought he'd known what good sex was. Oh how he had been sorely mistaken. He'd also thought that Sasuke, being as socially cold as he was, wouldn't be all that good in the sack. Again; what a mistake.

There was no way he could've stopped moaning even if he had wanted to. With every thrust, Sasuke fully impaled him and sent streams of pleasure rippling through his body. He'd always liked it a bit rough, but with Sasuke –god it was so much better.

"Nhh; _faster_!" he managed to groan out amidst jumbled gasps and broken breaths. Sasuke smirked, increasing the pace of his thrusts and pushing Naruto's legs back to penetrate him deeper. Tanned limbs were locked around his trunk and he knew he could get used to the way Naruto was arching and flushing beneath him. Another erotic expression from the blonde made him close his eyes in ecstasy and thrust with more vigour; skin slapping on skin and their sweating, lust-driven bodies yearning to be closer together.

The blonde had never been pounded so hard in his life. Sasuke was much bigger than he'd anticipated and was stretching him; filling him so completely that he could barely control himself. He flipped them so that he was on top and immediately began riding that massive cock beneath him.

Sasuke moaned aloud; a deep, throaty sound without abandon. He was losing control, and Naruto loved it. He impaled himself even harder, forcing his hips down with as much force as he could. It was a little painful, but the pleasure completely outweighed that. Sasuke thrust upwards sharply and Naruto arched back with a wanton moan as pale hands gripped his thighs tightly, slamming him down on Sasuke's cock over and over.

"Sasuke –_oh Sasuke_ –oh god _yes_!" Naruto couldn't help but be vocal as he rode him; rising and falling in perfect sync with the raven. His pace had almost become too much for the blonde –too much pleasure.

Naruto's orgasm hit him like a truck. When he came, it was the most explosive orgasm he'd ever experienced in his life. He moaned Sasuke's name long and throatily, his inner walls clamping down hard on Sasuke's cock; forcing him over the edge into his own orgasm as Naruto came over their chests.

"Naruto –" Sasuke managed to gasp out as he released deep inside the blonde as Naruto arched and spasmed in ecstasy. He rode out his orgasm; still thrusting into the now exhausted-looking, flushed, sweating blonde.

They both panted heavily, sweat rolling down their chests. At the same time, Sasuke leaned up and Naruto swooped down to meet in another heated, intense kiss, Naruto slowly pulling himself off the raven's softening cock. He winced; his ass feeling thoroughly abused and raw, but that didn't stop him from grinding down again as some of Sasuke's cum leaked out his thoroughly stretched hole.

Their make-out session was suddenly interrupted by banging on the bathroom door.

"Sasuke, I'm glad you're getting laid and all –" Itachi's rather amused voice could be heard through the wall, " –But if you're thinking about a second round, I suggest you take it elsewhere; we're in public, not on a porn shoot."

"Fuck off, Itachi," Sasuke yelled back, grabbing Naruto and flipping him over onto his back, kissing him passionately.

Outside the bathroom, Itachi just chuckled to himself before heading back to his office to find some earplugs for the rest of the office. Trust Naruto to be loud in _every_ aspect of life.

* * *

**Only one more chapter to go! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Here we go with the final chapter! Hope you've all enjoyed reading! Feel free to leave a review :D**

* * *

About an hour later, Sasuke and Naruto finally emerged from the bathroom, looking a little less than respectable. Sasuke had apparently tried to fix his hair and Naruto had hickeys all over his throat. Onyx eyes glared at the room, just _daring _them to say something –anything –about the fact that he and Naruto had just had incredibly loud, very rough sex in the staff bathroom.

No one met their gaze, though there was a distinctly smug aura in the room and most of the writers were wearing smirks. Sasuke stuck his nose in the air and rolled his shoulders. Good; they were all at least _pretending_ to mind their own business.

"Hey folks; polls are *bleep* _in_ and results say that Sasuke *bleep* Uchiha is GAY! That's *bleep* right! G-A-Y as in _just had sex in a bathroom with a man_ GAY!"

Of course, then there was Hidan.

Immediately, everyone in the entire room burst out laughing. Suigetsu and Kiba were rolling on their desks holding their sides while the women were half laughing and half crying about what a loss it was that such a sexy man wasn't into females.

"You can all go get fucked," Sasuke snapped irritably.

"What, like you just did?" Kiba teased, setting off another chorus of laughs.

" –Oh come on, Sasuke," Naruto grinned, looping his arm around the moody raven's shoulders, "You can't think this wouldn't get out pretty damn quickly. Small walls and all."

" –Maybe you shouldn't have been so loud," Sasuke snapped from between gritted teeth.

"Maybe you shouldn't have fucked me so hard," was Naruto's quick comeback. He danced out of reach of the raven's sudden punch and cackled manically, sticking his tongue out –obviously oblivious to how ridiculous he looked with so many hickeys. Everyone chortled gleefully again as Sasuke folded his arms; thoroughly unimpressed.

"Oh come on, Temp," Suigetsu grinned, clapping him on the shoulder, "I'm sure Hidan has some wonderful things to say –" He gestured at the window, where Hidan was rubbing his hands together gleefully.

"This is a *bleep* development, Sasori," he was saying with a smirk, "Sasuke *bleep* the head writer of _Word on the Street_! Jeez, did you *bleep* hear them?"

"I think it would be hard not to," Sasori remarked flatly, "Naruto has a voice that tends to carry."

"Well, if it wasn't the hottest thing I've heard in *bleep* ever," Hidan cackled, "Cept those little *bleep* noises Dei makes when I jack him off…"

"_HIDAN, YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE_!"

"Shut it, blondie, we're fucking talking about the hot gay sex we just had to hear," Hidan sniffed, "And don't even *bleep* pretend you weren't *bleep* turned on by it!" There was a sudden yelp and a muffled groan, "Yep; he's hard, Sasori…"

"Hidan!" Deidara exclaimed in embarrassment, pushing the older man away from him.

" –I bet this means we can *bleep* in the bathroom now," Hidan smirked slyly.

"I don't even know what's going to happen to this radio station when you two finally sleep together…" Sasori remarked casually.

"I'll just give a *bleep* detailed description of how we *bleep*," Hidan offered.

"_I AM NOT GOING TO SLEEP WITH HIM!_" Deidara spat aggressively.

"Yes you will," was Sasori's input.

"Really, Hidan's in love with Deidara?" Sasuke commented flatly.

"Oh yeah; everyone knows it," Kiba shrugged with a wicked grin, "So, are you guys like totally gonna keep fucking or something?"

"That's none of your business," Sasuke snapped crossly.

"Of course we are," Naruto corrected, cupping Sasuke's crotch as he wandered past, "And totally feel free to write an article on it; I'll even give you an exclusive on how great he is in the sack." He winked at a furious Sasuke, "Oh, but you do have to start taking me on dates. I'm not some kind of cheap whore." Sasuke just huffed crossly and headed over to his desk, trying to maintain a small amount of dignity.

"Now; up next, we have a special treat; if my co-hosts would stop bandying around their repressed sexual tension," Sasori sighed as Hidan and Deidara instantly quit their arguing, "We have an announcement to make."

"Well, we all know how you've all been following the story on Itachi Uchiha and his mystery crush, yeah," Deidara announced, "We've got the scoop on _who. It. Is_. And we know Itachi thinks we're bluffing, yeah."

"First clue; it's a man," Sasori commented.

"Second clue; he's _big_," Hidan grinned, "Like, *bleep* bigger than me. Imagine the cock on him…You'd like that, right Dei? Little cock whore."

"I'm going to kill you."

"Third clue; he comes into frequent contact with us down at _Word on the Street_," Sasori added. This was the moment when Itachi Uchiha himself emerged from his office, his eyes stern yet slightly worried. He came to stand over at the window; arms folded and looking very unimpressed.

"Um, Sasori; I think Itachi's passive-aggressively threatening to fire us, yeah," Deidara commented nervously.

"Fourth clue; he's a big fan of _Akatsuki Live_…"

"Sasori, that's not even a good clue, yeah…"

Itachi's eye twitched.

"Fine; he's what, six-five?"

"Jeez, there aren't many guys that tall around here…" Deidara chuckled. Itachi's glare intensified and he mimed slitting his throat while keeping his gaze trained on the three DJs. They all chuckled to themselves.

"Clues five and six; he's a fucking gigantic blue shark man and _Itachi, he's fucking standing right behind you_!" Itachi froze, then spun around in horror, only to find that Kisame had appeared behind him. Before the raven could react, the huge blue man had swooped down and pressed his lips harshly against Itachi's; pushing him back against the glass.

The three DJs let out catcalls and wolf whistles.

"My god; and there we have it; Itachi is *bleep* making out with Kisame Hoshigaki right in front of us!" Hidan whooped triumphantly as they saw the writers looking extraordinarily pleased with themselves. "*Bleep*, is that tongue I see?" Itachi pressed his middle finger back against the glass before wrapping his arms around Kisame's strong shoulders and allowing him to deepen the kiss.

"Bathroom's free now, Itachi," Naruto offered cheekily. Itachi pulled back from his kiss, looking a little flushed, and immediately rounded on his writers.

"Okay, whose idea was that?" he snapped aggressively, hands on hips and looking far too much like a scolding housewife, "Naruto?"

"Not me," he grinned wickedly, "…It was kind of mostly Sasuke's." Itachi's mouth fell open and then he grinned.

"Well, well, Sasuke," he smirked, "I am both horrified and proud of you." Sasuke just shrugged and smirked back, "…But don't get me wrong; I am totally going to kill you. Especially if you don't clean that fucking bathroom." Naruto chortled to himself, slinging himself down in Sasuke's lap comfortably; much to the chagrin of the raven.

"So how's about dinner, or something?" Kisame offered, licking his lips.

"Wonderful," Itachi replied, in a much lighter voice, then scowling, "You were in on this too, weren't you?"

"Well, maybe a little," Kisame grinned, "Don't worry –I fully intend to make it up to you…" Itachi obviously got the innuendo and was pleased, because he tossed his head and said that he was going out, if Kisame would accompany him. With a smirk, the blue man followed him from the office.

The writers began chuckling to themselves as they congratulated each other on their own cleverness before settling down to work.

"You are going to get off my lap," Sasuke growled, when Naruto refused to do so. Instead, the blonde swivelled so he was straddling his new kind-of boyfriend, wincing in pain at the action, "Or I am pushing you on your ass so hard that you're going to regret letting me fuck you."

"Oh, I could never regret that," Naruto smirked, kissing him forcefully and wrapping tanned arms around a pale neck. Sasuke just sighed and let the blonde do as he pleased for the meantime; kissing him back and running his hands up Naruto's thighs.

"PDA much?" Suigetsu sighed heavily, running his hands through his hair and looking over at Karin, "Why don't you ever do that sort of stuff with me, huh?"

"Because you're annoying and I would never!" she spat back. Suigetsu just rolled his eyes.

So it was that when Shikamaru arrived, he was greeted by the sight of Sasuke and Naruto sucking face in Sasuke's desk chair, with Naruto looking suspiciously like he'd just been heavily pounded –judging by the number of hickeys he was sporting. He chuckled to himself before ignoring everyone and heading straight over to the DJ booth.

"Hey folks, looks like we've still got something on the agenda," Sasori commented in surprise as Shikamaru asked to go on air, "Shikamaru Nara's apparently got something to say."

"Yo Shika," Hidan greeted, "Any particular reason why Neji's looking at you with a bit more *bleep* deadly intent today?" Shikamaru looked through the window and saw Neji's glare practically melting the glass between them. He looked furious. As their gaze met, the brunette moodily looked away, and it was with some satisfaction that Shikamaru noted the prominent hickey on his throat.

"Does it happen to have something to do with that little love bite on his neck?" Sasori inquired curiously. Neji froze.

"In fact, it does," Shikamaru drawled, "I'm actually here to force Neji Hyuuga out of denial."

" –And maybe even the closet, yeah," Deidara chuckled. Shikamaru chuckled along with him.

"I'm just here to say that ever since high school, I knew that Neji had a _huge_ crush on me," he continued casually, noting the coldness emanating from the Hyuuga, "But he was too proud to admit that _he_; the star student; liked _me_; the lazy no-hoper. But that's about to change."

"Do share," Sasori raised an eyebrow. Shikamaru grinned.

"We had sex last night."

Neji leapt to his feet in outrage; glaring through the glass with a look that could almost kill. Shikamaru smirked as Hidan wolf whistled and clapped manically.

" –And if he doesn't come in here right now and admit to the listening world that he likes me, then I am giving a graphically detailed description of how much he enjoyed having my cock up his ass," Shikamaru smirked. Neji's eyes bulged, but he didn't move; calling his bluff.

"…Do tell," Hidan grinned.

"Well, you should've seen his face when I had my fingers up his ass," Shikamaru smirked, "I mean, it was adorable; he was all '_Oh; Shikamaru_' and moaning and when we actually got to the fucking –" He was suddenly cut off as Neji came storming into the studio room angrily, and stopped his words with a fierce kiss.

Cheers broke out from both sides of the glass as Shikamaru instantly grabbed the brunette and sat him in his lap; groping his ass and grinding their hips together as their tongues battled furiously.

"…That was unexpected," Sasori remarked dryly. Shikamaru immediately pulled away with a lazy smirk.

" –And then, when I bent him over he said that –"

"_OKAY FINE! I LIKE YOU, SHIKAMARU! JUST STOP TALKING!_" Neji exploded angrily.

"Hear that everyone; nine years I've waited for him to admit that," Shikamaru explained, his hands massaging Neji's ass and the Hyuuga resisting every urge to moan.

"Way to force a guy out of the closet, yeah," Deidara chuckled.

"Neji, what do you say? Go out with me?" the lazy genius inquired.

"Like I would after that stunt you pulled!"

"Ooh, Shikamaru, I think you're in for a spanking tonight," Deidara giggled, to which Hyuuga eyes turned to glare at him aggressively.

"We're still on air, Shikamaru, and longing to hear about how you *bleep* Neji," Sasori commented, in a rare display of swearing. Neji looked horrified.

"_Fine!_ I'll go out with you!" he snapped weakly, knowing that he'd been defeated by the prospect of further public humiliation. Again, Shikamaru grinned, muttering, "Finally…" and grabbed Neji's face to kiss him again.

"Seriously man, do you guys have to be *bleep* sucking face here?" Hidan complained.

"_Are you *bleep* kidding me_?" Deidara roared, "_You _constantly_ molest me in here!_"

"Yeah, well that's different coz it's _me_ getting the action," Hidan shrugged.

The females in the office, along with Suigetsu, Kiba and Lee were all looking around helplessly from making out couple to making out couple –Hidan had just pressed Deidara up against the wall in the studio to prove a point.

"Wow, this place is going to be a fucking porno from now on?" Suigetsu inquired as Ino quickly ran to get her phone, "Come on guys, get a room!" Naruto just flipped his middle finger at his co-writer.

" –This is a one-time thing; we are not doing this at work," Sasuke growled.

"Yeah, whatever, _boss_," Naruto snorted disbelievingly before reattaching their lips together.

"Go get the camera," she urged with a grin, watching as Naruto bodily pulled Sasuke out of his chair and laid back on his desk so that the raven was hovering over him, their bodies still pressed together. Suigetsu grinned, snatching up the old polaroid camera that they kept for occasions such as this and quickly took a single photo of Sasuke shamelessly grinding against his new, sort-of boyfriend.

As the picture began to develop, Suigetsu smirked, tearing off the chart that was hanging on the wall to reveal a number of similar photos.

"Writers' Wall of Shame" was the title of the display.

There was Kiba dancing as a male stripper; Suigetsu caught naked by the campus watch during a brutal game of Truth or Dare; Karin making out with a chubby forty-year old in a club; Hinata vomiting from nervousness during a public speech; each of the writers –and the three DJs had a picture there, marking a prominent embarrassing moment they'd been caught in.

And now, Suigetsu pinned Sasuke's picture up there with them, labelling 'Sasuke "The Temp" Uchiha'. With a satisfied grin, Ino took a picture of it and sent it off to Itachi.

"Wait, I have to send something too," Kiba exclaimed, snatching the phone and holding it up to the room, "Suigetsu, make out with Karin, would you?"

"Don't mind if I do," he smirked, grabbing her and crashing their lips together. She resisted for but a moment before finally giving in and wrapping her arms around his neck. Kiba grinned, taking a picture and sending that off to Itachi as well.

* * *

Itachi was sitting in a café with Kisame, waiting for his coffee when he got two incoming texts. He opened the first one and grinned.

_This is what you've done to us_! The message read; from Kiba.

There was Sasuke making out with Naruto (he'd always known there was sexual tension between the two); Suigetsu and Karin (well, about time); and then in the DJ booth there was Shikamaru and Neji (it was nice to see that Neji had finally admitted that he liked the lazy genius –they'd be good together. He'd been trying to think of a way to get them together for ages now); and of course Hidan with Deidara –when was Deidara finally going to admit that he wanted Hidan to quit joking about fucking him and actually do it?

Kisame saw the picture and chuckled his deep, throaty laugh.

"You're going to have trouble on your hands," he remarked as Itachi opened the second picture.

He grinned.

It was a picture of Sasuke's photo now up on the Writers' Wall of Shame. He knew what that meant. It meant that they had accepted him well and truly, as one of their own –whether he wanted to be or not.

" –They're Sasuke's problem now," Itachi smirked. He'd always known that those writers would be good for his beloved baby brother. He was going to be their last Temp.

Because now, he was one of them.

* * *

**End! Thanks for reading! Let me know what you thought, if you like :D  
xx K**


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